


To Fall In Love Again

by murasakis



Category: NAKAMURA Shungiku - Works, Sekai-ichi Hatsukoi
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, M/M, i started this fic in 2013 and its 2017 now, this fic is cringe at the beginning but please bear with me
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-04-30
Updated: 2017-12-26
Packaged: 2018-10-25 14:50:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 14
Words: 33,813
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10766490
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/murasakis/pseuds/murasakis
Summary: 'Takano-san, why haven't you come yet? Where are you?...no! I can't ask him for help! I said to myself that I would never fall in love with him again...' Takano is at his wits end when Onodera refuses to tell him what's wrong. After discovering the truth, how will this all end? (AU-ish, non-canon after Chap. 16 in the manga) More info inside.(originally was on ff.net, but posted it on here)(god i had cringeworthy author notes //jumps off cliff)





	1. Prologue

Everything was going fine in Marukawa. The newly refreshed editors had just passed through Hell Week, so everything well once more. Now it was already night, and only two of the Emerald editors remained on the floor.

"Ah, it's getting late, I should head home soon." Onodera muttered before leaning back in his seat. Soon after shutting down his laptop, he got up from his seat and grabbed both his coat and bag.

"Oi, Onodera." The emerald-eyed man halted to a stop in his tracks before slowly turning around.

"What is it now?" Onodera gave a small glare to the other man besides him in the empty department.

"Have you finished all your work for today?" The editor in chief, Takano Masamune, asked as he brushed off the glare that he was being given.

"Of course, so I'm going home. You should go home too Takano-" Onodera cut off his words. _'Crap, that's right, he lives next to me! Oh man please don't go home!'_ Onodera thought pleadingly to whoever was up there.

"Ah, good idea Onodera, how about we hold hands whil-"

"I did not mean any of the sort!" Onodera turned red.

"Ah, you sure?"

"110% sure! Sorry, I'm really tired, so I'll go on ahead, good night." Onodera turned on his heels before exiting the floor. Not soon after Takano too packed up and grabbed his coat to leave. _'I better hurry; the last train will leave soon.'_ Takano thought to himself before closing all of the lights and heading towards the elevator.

* * *

**_\- on the train -_ **

"Onodera sighed contently, glad that Takano hadn't followed him home. _'Uwah, I can barely keep my eyes open, come on, just a little more…'_

"…The doors are now opening…careful of your step…" Onodera snapped awake at the voiceover.

"Crap!" It wasn't long before the brunette ran out of the train before the doors closed.

"Whew! Close one." Onodera puffed before walking the rest of the way home. _'Oh yeah, I forgot to collect the mail this morning, might as well do it now before I forget.'_ As he entered the apartment complex he and Takano shared. Grabbing whatever was inside his mailbox, something that caught the man's eye fell onto the floor. He grabbed it. _'It's a letter…from Mother?!'_ Onodera hastily opened it, and looked over it silently whilst making his way to his apartment.

_Ritsu,_

__

__

_I haven't seen you since you were with An-chan at the hospital. I would like to have a chat with you, but my schedule is pretty busy, how about we set a date and time?_

__

__

Onodera slowly closed his door and threw his coat and bag onto his bed.

_Could you meet me around the 3rd May? Maybe around dinner? Let us meet at the mansion, your father's been wanting to see you as well ever since you quit you job at Onodera Publishing. We want to see how independent you've been without us! Don't keep us waiting!_

__

__

_Your mother._

"Wooowww, what's with that lame 'your mother'?" Onodera nearly jumped through the ceiling at the voice right behind him.

"T-Takano-san! Are you some shape shifter or something?!" Onodera ran to the other side of his apartment.

"Have you ever heard of locking your damned door?" Takano muttered irritably. Onodera blushed in embarrassment and mentally facepalmed for not remembering to properly close the door.

"Well sorry! And thank you! Now, if you will, please get out of my apartment." Onodera pointed to the door. Takano crossed his arms and stood there.

"W-Well?!" Onodera huffed.

"Aren't you going to give me a goodbye kiss?" Takano raised an eyebrow.

"HAH?! SINCE WHE-" Before Onodera knew it, he was pushed against the wall with Takano's lips on his.

"So noisy, jeez." Takano moved back nonchalantly before heading towards the door.

"Well, at least I got my goodbye kiss. Bye-bye~" Takano spoke in a sing-song voice before closing the door behind him. Onodera took the liberty of immediately locking the door, not wanting the small affair with Takano to repeat once more.

"Jeez…that bastard." Onodera grumbled before heading straight to his bed and flopping unceremoniously onto it.


	2. Decisions

Onodera groaned as he shuffled over to the fax machine. _'Haah…so tired…'_

"Snap out of it." Onodera shivered at the instant contact of a cold can against the back of his neck.

"H-Hey! That's cold!" Onodera turned around to see Takano holding a can of black coffee, two in fact.

"You looked like a zombie, so I thought this would work." Takano threw the can to him.

"Well please don't give me any surprises of any sort! Why not try asking me instead?" Onodera followed Takano who was heading back to the department.

"Cause if I did, your face would shrivel up like a prune and then I wouldn't take you seriously." Takano answered dryly.

"W-well that is your fault!" Onodera countered back as he opened his can of coffee.

"…how long will it take for you to realise that I do everything that you asked me to then you start throwing tantrums like a little baby?" The brunette glared instinctively at Takano before realising what he had meant by 'your face would shrivel up like a prune'.

"Well, it's not like you need to follow me, you're not my servant you know." Takano sat on his chair and his files on the computer.

"You think I'm your little servant? For your information, I'm not. But you know…" Takano trailed off. Onodera turned his head to the raven questioningly.

"…I rarely do a lot of things for one person…so maybe it must be out of _love_ …don't you think so Onodera?" The brunette almost spewed his coffee all over the storyboards.

"*cough cough* T-TAKANO-SAN! Don't say such weird things!" Onodera managed to clear his throat before turning back to work.

"Ehh…must be _love_ …" Kisa murmured as he worked away.

"H-HAHH?"

"Love indeed…" Mino added as he flipped through the pages of his storyboard.

"U-Uhm…everyone…didn't we have this discussion a few days ago-"

"Sounds like love to me." Hatori mumbled as he picked up a phone receiver.

"U-Uhm-!"

"Right? Onodera really doesn't know what he's talking about sometimes. This is why I wonder why I have a newbie in my editing department." Takano sharply pointed out. Onodera felt a vein pop in his head.

_'Y-You guys…W-WHAT'S THAT SUPPOSED TO EVEN MEAN? We were talking about something different a few ages ago! NOT WORK!'_

* * *

**_\- a few moments later -_ **

"Good afternoon Emerald department!" Everyone bowed to the senior managing director of Marukawa Shoten, Isaka Ryuuichirou.

"Ah, Isaka-san, good afternoon." Takano acknowledged him before reverting his gaze back to the storyboards in his hand.

"Hey, is Nanahikari around here? I'd like to chat to him~" Isaka leaned against the table near Onodera's seat.

"Ah, no, Ricchan left for the restroom a few moments before, so he might be there." Kisa spun around in his seat.

"Oh wait, Ricchan's back!~" Kisa cheered as Onodera entered, with his right hand over his stomach.

"Ah Nanahikari!~" Isaka called as he wrapped his arm around Onodera.

"Come outside for a minute, will you?~" Isaka started as he began pulling Onodera outside. "We won't be too long Takano!"

"E-Ehhhhh? W-Wait-!" Takano watched as the brunette squirmed before giving in to follow behind the director of Marukawa.

"Uhm…Isaka-san, did you need me?" Onodera asked once they finally found a place where they could talk in private.

"Well…it's more like…I don't need you for anything in particular, however your parents need you." Onodera blinked at Isaka before giving a look of confusion.

"My parents…? Did they need something?" _'Are they going to sit me down and talk about the company?'_

"Ehhh…if you're wondering what they need…then I suppose you should pay a visit to your parents!" Isaka gave Onodera a smile as he turned on his heel.

"Onodera, I feel that they may need you very soon, if they go as far as to ask a director like me to personally go down and meet with you." The brunette felt his chest thump. He quickly bowed to Isaka.

"Ah, I'm very sorry that my parents had to go as far as doing that!" He apologised. _'That letter…and now Isaka-san…what do my parents want?'_ Isaka waved a hand as in saying 'don't worry about it'.

"Well anyway, keep working hard! And I'll see you all at next week's meeting!" Isaka waved before departing. Onodera moved the thought to the back of his head before moving back into the department and seating himself down. He continued to work on another proposal, feeling a hard stare on him but dared not to look.

* * *

**_\- at night -_ **

"Good work everybody!~ See you tomorrow!~" Kisa waved before running off to wherever he needed to go to. It was already close to midnight as they all finished the work for today. But once again, Onodera and Takano were the last ones to leave. The brunette continued to type away at the computer, completely ignoring the other person in the room, but one thought kept popping into his mind.

_Onodera, I feel that they may need you very soon._

Onodera sighed softly.

_Mother said that I should meet her on the 3rd, which means I have two more days left before I go back to the mansion. I'll probably finish my work on the Saturday- ah then I'll have to leave the dishes and laundry until later…and then on Sunday I'll head over back home around late afternoon._

"Hey, what do you want for dinner?

"Huh?"

"Dinner, you haven't eaten right?" Onodera made an irked face before returning to his work.

"Um, I don't think you should go as far as making something for me right now - and at this time as well, so-"

"It's alright, I haven't eaten either." Onodera drew his lips to a thin line in irritation. _'This guy…'_

"Well…uh…I'm really okay! I was gonna take a bath then head off to bed once I arrive home so…" Onodera trailed off. Takano stood from where he sat and too started packing his bag. The brunette stood up as well and began to pack.

"A-And besides…it's gonna be awkward eating with you…since you're my boss after all…" The brunette chuckled nervously, aiming his eyes away from Takano's hardened gaze. "A-And we d-don't even have any good memories…so I don't think we should push ourselves-"

"In other words, you don't want to spend time with me?" Onodera froze with his frantic actions.

"…u-uh…t-that's…"

"…"

"W-Well…I didn't really mean tha-…Takano-san?" Onodera lifted up his gaze as he saw Takano right in front of him.

"!"

Onodera found himself shoved onto the desk, two hands pinning his wrists down. Looking up, he found Takano placing his body weight on top of the brunette, effectively rendering him from moving.

"Takano-san! W-What are you-mmph!" Onodera was cut off with a kiss. His breathing escalated in panic as he tried to push off Takano.

"Fuah!" Onodera gasped for air as he turned his head away from the raven, not wanting any of this. "T-Takano-san-!" Onodera coiled up in response to Takano biting his ear before moving down to press kisses down the brunette's neck.

"Takano-san! Stop-!" Onodera cried out before feeling hands shift to pin his wrists down with one, and allowing the other hand to move down the brunette's body. Onodera's mind flew into overdrive, using unimaginable strength to shove off Takano, before delivering a hard slap to the raven's face.

"Fuck…" Takano cursed as he nursed his reddened cheek. The two stayed silent for a while, the brunette's harsh breathing being the only sounds made in the department.

"E-excuse me!" Onodera spoke hastily before grabbing his bag and fleeing.

"Oi! Onodera!"


	3. Reunions and departures

_'…well…here I am again, home sweet home.'_ Onodera took a deep breath and relaxed as he walked down the stone footpath to the Onodera mansion. He knocked on the door three times and at an instant the door opened, revealing an aged woman with some grey hairs streaking through her dark chocolate coloured hair and shining emerald eyes.

"Ritsu! It's been so long!" Onodera's smiling mother greeted him at the doorway with a warm hug.

"Mother, you've seen me at the hospital already." Onodera laughed softly as his mother pulled away.

"But I didn't get to see you properly since I was asleep for most of the time! Not to mention it's been more than a month since that time! Now, come in! Make yourself at home!" Onodera barely had time to recognise a blur of black and white running to him at full speed as he found himself toppling onto the floor.

"UWAH! Ow…Ayumi!" Onodera slowly sat up to caress the exuberant dog towering over him. Ayumi gave a loving lick in return.

"Ahaha Ayumi! Stop! Yes it's been a while but please!" Onodera laughed whole-heartedly as the beloved pet continued to lick the brunette's face.

"Oh Ayumi, happy to see a familiar face now hm?" Onodera looked up to see an old, but healthy man smiling happily standing near the grand staircase gazing at him.

"Father!" Onodera chuckled as his mother lifted him up from the ground. Onodera's father too had grey streaks in his chestnut hair.

"How have you been doing? Are you eating enough?" Onodera's mother questioned as he chuckled slightly.

"Well I've somewhat reduced my meals to only once a day." Onodera repressed the urge to scowl at the reason why he was forced to eating a meal a day, but there was a small part of him that was grateful for the meal.

"One meal?! Ritsu! You could collapse at that rate!" Having being scolded by his fretting mother, he knew it wasn't a good time to tell them that he had _already_ experienced that.

"Sorry mother, I'll try and eat something whenever I have the chance."

"You should try and make a bento and bring it to work." His father suggested as the three of them unconsciously walked down the hallway.

"Well my boss says it's not recommended because I might spill some of the food onto the storyboards."

"Storyboards? Why would you need that when you're editing literature? Shouldn't you be doing discussions with the author and such?" Onodera-mama pointed out sharply. Onodera bit his tongue, realising what he had just spilt out.

"W-well…I was told that there soon would be a graphic novel created out of the book I'm currently editing…s-so I have to have discussions with the artist and explain to them how the panels and pages will be laid out."

"Well you must be editing quite a lot of books that will be created into graphic novels causing you to only have one meal a day." Onodera-papa smiled. Onodera swallowed the lump in his throat when he saw his mother picking up on what he said. When she was about to question his father burst out with a happy laugh and gave his son a hard pat on the back.

"That's great son! You're finally moving up in the rankings! Hahaha!" Onodera nervously laughed along with his father, hoping that his mother won't question him any further.

"You should do that for our company once you're ready to take over!" His mother joined in once more.

"Mother! I'm really sorry but I really have no interest of taking over!" Onodera protested half-heartedly.

"But son! You're our only child! And it's not difficult since you already know the basics of doing so!" His mother smiled happily. His father could only nod and smile softly, however there was a glint of guilt in his eyes.

"It's like what Isaka-kun does with Marukawa, if you ask him then it wouldn't be a problem for your future!" His mother added. Onodera turned to his father, who smiled reassuringly.

"Now come! Let's continue to talk about how you'll take over our dear company so you won't be worried about pulling the ropes!" His mother smiled once more as they walked down the long hallway.

 _'But that's not what I'm afraid of.'_ Onodera blinked in confusion for a mere moment, processing what he just thought.

"What _am_ I afraid of?" Onodera muttered under his breath, ignoring the sudden sick feeling in his stomach.

* * *

Night came over the Onodera mansion. It was close to dinnertime and thanks to his mother's constant nagging about how he should be eating healthily, he found himself situated at the end of the table with his father on the other end while his mother was sitting in the middle. And across the table was filled with ungodly amounts of food that he could practically eat throughout winter.

"Ah, it's been so long…" His mother reminisced when they used to eat together at the long dining table. The butlers standing close to the wall murmured in agreement.

"It feels very nostalgic and warming to have Ritsu-sama back here with us." One of the butlers, Sato-san – who used to take care of Onodera in his younger years – pointed out sincerely.

"I suppose I'm sorry to have left you for a while." Onodera laughed quietly as he continued eating his food.

"It's very much alright, you of course wanted to chase your dreams, and now look at you! Already a hardworking adult! And your books proudly edited by no other than Onodera Ritsu! That's some achievement and experience right there!" Another butler – Kobayashi-san – smiled as he poured some more wine into Onodera's mother's glass. Onodera could only smile awkwardly as he ate some more.

"Let's hope that one day he'll achieve this at his own company." Yamamoto-san chuckled as he stood by the doorway to the kitchen.

"Ritsu, while you are here, may I ask something?" Onodera-mama spoke out. Onodera swallowed the food he had in his mouth before responding with a nod.

"I know it's not the time to mention something like this, but are you ever willing to marry An-chan?" Onodera stared at his mother quietly, a piece of the juicy lamb held up to his mouth, but placed it back down and sighed.

"Kaya…" Onodera's father intervened, knowing his son wouldn't want to be stressed with unnecessary things.

"No, Ichirou, we must." The butlers stayed silent as they watched the scene unfold.

"You know full well of the story of how you were born right?" Onodera nodded. His parents were lucky to have him even though in the past his mother encountered many miscarriages. By the time she turned 36, it was a complete miracle to have been given Ritsu, and they cherished him as their only child.

"Your father…he's growing old, and I worry about him, but he refuses to retire."

"Kaya, stop, Ritsu is finally spending time with us-"

"He's a lot like you, in many aspects of your personality, especially his stubbornness." Onodera's mother sighed exasperatedly and glanced back and forth at both Onodera men.

"But it would keep your mother's mind at ease, if you would take over the company, at least. Once you're in good standing, we'll think about marriage soon."

"Kaya, I've told you many times, Ritsu will choose to take over when he would feel at most ease to." Ichirou cut in. Onodera looked closely at his father, seeing how old he's gotten, and felt slightly guilty, making his father work hard for the company while he has been working to be a shoujo manga editor, something that his mother wouldn't approve of greatly.

"But dear, look at your state! I'm worried that you're working to your death!" Kaya opposed worriedly.

"And Ritsu's already 26, surely enough he is capable of leaving his job to continue the Onodera line. Isn't that what you wanted for our son?"

"It still is, but right now Ritsu is actually very willing to see the world! He wants to go places! He wants to explore! I can't just force him now to sit down and watch over." Ichirou replied, considerate of his son's dreams. Onodera slightly squirmed in his seat uncomfortably, glancing down at his plate of food.

"Ichirou-"

"Kaya, please let Ritsu be for now, give him time."

"We've already given him too much time!" Kaya retorted back as she let Kobayashi-san take away the plates of unfinished food, knowing no one will be eating during a time like this.

"Well, how about we let Ritsu-sama decide? As well as being capable of taking over, he is also capable of making his own decisions, right?" Yamamoto-san interrupted, slightly reprimanding the two parents in his spoken sentence while encouraging Ritsu to speak up. Onodera swallowed nervously, the knot in his stomach growing worse. Sato-san could only look at Onodera with sincere eyes. Even though he had no interest in taking over, after hearing the problems his parents were facing due to his absence, he quietly spoke out,

"P-please give me some more time alone…maybe after I'll choose whether to take over or not…" Onodera spoke loud enough for everyone to hear as he fiddled with his hand and chew his bottom lip.

"Well…I suppose it's better than him straight out saying 'no'…Ritsu, we'll give you time, but please make up your mind soon. You have to understand that we can't stay around forever." Onodera's mother looked at her son with pleading eyes, as he could do nothing but nod.

"Son," Ichirou slowly began. "…I know I'm contradictory in whatever I say, but I would like to retire sometime in the near future. It's okay if it's not right now, but in a few years time." Onodera looked up at his father with guilty eyes before nodding once more.

"Excuse me, I need to head to the bathroom." Onodera announced quietly before departing from the dining room. Ichirou watched his son with weary eyes as he sighed softly.

"Honestly…" Ichirou murmured. Kaya turned to look at her husband. "I wish Ritsu will never have to face the stresses of this company."

* * *

"Haah…" Onodera exhaled as he washed his face with cold water. _'This really sucks.'_ The brunette thought, wiping his face with a small towel before exiting the bathroom.

"Eh?! Ritsu-sama!" The brunette looked up to see woman not too far from where he was standing, dressed in a simple uniform with her hair tied back in a bun. "You've grown!"

"Azuki-neesan!" Ritsu exclaimed as he headed towards the shorter woman and embraced her. "It's been a long time!" He laughed.

"Haha, yes indeed, too long in fact!" She laughed, patting the brunette on the back. Back in Onodera's childhood, he knew Azuki as young adult whom always watched out for the brunette and An whenever they played around in the garden, and often played the role close to that of a guardian. Onodera had come to know the woman really well, as far as being the ring bearer at her wedding.

"Why are you here?" The brunette asked as he parted from her. "Aren't you already living with your husband?"

Azuki smiled and nodded. "Yes, however I continued to serve for Master and Lady Onodera, up until three months ago. I decided to find a new job, and I'm just simply taking my belongings back…as well as some other things." Her smile broadened.

"Eh? Other things?"

Azuki pointed to Onodera's old nursery and the realisation hit him.

"You're pregnant!" The woman grinned and pat her belly, emphasising the small baby bump.

"Uwah…" Onodera remarked. "Congratulations!" He smiled. Azuki laughed before patting him on the shoulder.

"More like, I should be saying that to you Ritsu-sama! Congratulations!" Onodera blinked before looking at her in confusion.

"To me…? What for?"

"E-Ehhhh? You don't know yourself?" Azuki remarked. Onodera stared at her.

"S-Sorry…but did my parents say something about me that is worth congratulating…? I don't recall any of the sort…" He trailed off. Azuki watched as Onodera's expression turned to one of confusion and frowned.

"…I don't think I should've let that slipped out. If you don't know, then it's probably because your parents might tell you later." Onodera looked down to the floor.

"Please forget about what I said, Ritsu-sama. "

* * *

Already close to midnight, Onodera finally left with some homemade sweets – made by a kind maid Onodera knew well in his childhood – in one bag, refusing to be taken home by Sato-san. And with that, he walked down to the main road, and ended up at the train station. During the journey there, he began to think about what had transpired at the dinner.

_'We can't stay around forever.'_

_'I would like to retire sometime in the near future.'_

Onodera quietly wondered if he's been making his parents suffer due to his absence from the company. Maybe he should take over? He may have been spending time editing manga but he at least knew everything about how to run a company when he was in England. As he boarded the train, he wondered why he wanted more time.

 _'Maybe I haven't done enough…I need to try harder…haah…but I know I'm not capable of taking over a huge company…I don't even have the experience to back myself up like Isaka-san…so is it even possible?'_ Onodera thought quietly as he leant against the back of the train seat he sat on. His thoughts then wandered over to Takano.

At times when he thought that he was no good, Takano always set him back on his feet, telling him he was doing alright, and that it would take many years to get to his position, and a lot of experience as well. But even the thought of that just made him feel more incompetent. If he was unable to become a fully-fledged manga editor, how can he be a fully-fledged heir to the Onodera company? Onodera quietly laughed, manga editing and taking over are two different things, he realised as he boarded off and walked to the apartment complex.

"But then again, maybe I'm horrible at both." Onodera mumbled. "Maybe I really was just riding on Father's coattails when I was working in literature." Onodera gave a half smile to himself, allowing all of his self-confidence to break away.

"But even so…I still want to edit books, so maybe I'll ask my parents about that if it is possible…" As much as he tried to feel positive about the idea of it, he unconsciously placed a hand over his stomach and slowly slid down against the elevator wall, the knot in his stomach beginning to annoy him.

"Nngh…" Onodera groaned quietly as he strode over to his apartment door once the elevator opened. Before he could unlock it, he glanced at the small container of food – possibly dinner – placed inside a plastic bag, along with a small sticky note attached to it.

 _'I figured you haven't eaten so I decided to make some dinner for you. It's fine it you don't eat it now, but if you aren't going to touch it anytime soon, place it in the fridge instead of leaving it lying around where it could easily become soiled.'_ The brunette sighed. Had Takano always treated him like this? As if Onodera was some sort of child?

 _'Honestly, I feel that if I don't do these things that you'd probably end up in hospital again.'_ Onodera glared at the note. Was he making fun of him?

 _'Which I honestly, never want to happen again.'_ The brunette blinked at the note, before swiftly crumpling it up as he flushed slightly, not having to read the last line below, knowing it obviously spouted words about love.

 _'Jeez…! He needs to realise that anyone else besides me could've read this!'_ Onodera took the bag and was about to place it down on Takano's handle, only to stop halfway.

"…"

Onodera glanced at the door in front of him, before taking the bag of food back and entering his home. Onodera sighed, trying to relieve the strange feeling in his chest.

_'How do you always manage to find a way to relieve my worries…?'_


	4. Confusion and revelations

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (edit april 2017: i deleted the author's notes because they were absolute cringe  
> but new oc comes into here, surprisingly they weren't entirely disliked  
> but i had the tendency to write huge scenes with them, so my bad for that in advance)

Two weeks have passed since Onodera had visited his parents. Almost nothing has changed in relation to Onodera's current position with the family company, nor has his feelings shifted for a certain raven. However he found something that continued to bug him ever since he saw his parents.

_'If you don't know, then it's probably because your parents might tell you later.'_

_'Just what is it that my parents truly want to talk about?'_ Onodera remembered his father interrupting his mother on more than one occasion during their conversation. Onodera decided to shrug it off and glanced tiringly at his laptop. The days counting down to Hell Week began to weigh on everyone's shoulders, especially for Marukawa Emerald. Onodera took a quick look around him while he was on the phone to Mutou-sensei.

"Sensei, I ask that you have already finished the character plans, yes?"

"Yoshikawa, change the scenery in this, it doesn't match the time scene because it should already be night."

"Ichinose-sensei, the storyboard is going along fine yes? Ah, that's great to hear. Please ask me anything whenever you're in trouble. Yes, goodbye."

"Sensei, the anime's going fine so far, are you keeping up with the deadline? Don't worry! You're selling more copies now that the anime's running, keep it up!"

"Ah Mutou-sensei, good work today. Hm? You need more artists? Ah, let me check…" As everyone continued busying themselves with their authors, Isaka came through the doorway. Seeing as everyone was currently on the phone, he tapped Takano's shoulder to signal him to have a talk with him outside once he was done. Takano could only nod as he glanced through the recently faxed storyboard in his hand. Onodera, placing the phone on hold as he looked around for artist assistants, glanced over to Takano, who continued talking.

 _'I wonder why they needed to talk.'_ Onodera snapped his head up at his thoughts.

 _'Argh, it's not my problem anyway! Jeez!'_ He mentally scolded himself in his head. But he couldn't help but watch as Takano walked outside before he reached over to answer the phone.

* * *

**_\- outside of Marukawa Emerald -_ **

"Wait…Misako? In Emerald?" Takano looked at the male in confusion as he placed his cigarette in a nearby ashtray.

"Yeah, I recently had a meeting with her, saying that she was interested in editing manga. So I placed her in Emerald."

"Why not Marukawa Amethyst? Last time I met up with her she was interested in literature." Takano looked up to the ceiling, furrowing his eyebrows.

"You guys are low on staff anyways, Amethyst's got too much people in the end, so why not? Even though it's not her forte, I think she'll like it." Isaka explained. Takano sighed, thinking of how he would teach the newbie.

"I'm not quite sure on…I knew she had some good editing skills, but they seemed like they were suitable for literature…and Misako's a pretty open-minded woman. I'm pretty sure she'll want more than just editing manga. She needs to go somewhere else. Reject her." Isaka clicked his tongue and shook his head.

"When I was discussing her skills she said that she would like to settle down from her other job. I'm assuming that her 'open mindedness' was caused by her family's pressure. I mean…from your background you seem like a pretty high-profile family. But you wanted nothing of it. Maybe she wants that type of freedom too, y'know." Takano looked away, slightly disturbed for not noticing Misako's condition.

"And her last occupation was being…an interior decorator if I remember correctly."

"She said she wanted that line of work though." Takano protested calmly.

"But apparently it was only her family's doing." Isaka stated. Takano tried to think back of the times he met up with her. But he could only remember whenever she came to look after a broken Takano.

"You should give her a chance at least. We'll give her a trial run type of thing. How does that sound?" Takano could only nod as Isaka walked off.

"Also, why are you calling Takashi-san by her first name?" Takano looked up to see Isaka puzzled. Takano furrowed his eyebrows as he looked away.

"She's someone who's…dear to me…we're close, I suppose. " Isaka looked like he was about to say something else but just shrugged and waved before walking off.

"Just be nice to her on her first day alright? See you." Still in the same spot, Takano clasped his mouth in deep thought, wondering about the past.

"Misako…"

* * *

**_\- flashback -_ **

_"Hey~" A raven-haired man glances over his shoulder to see a woman calling and running up to him._

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_"What?" The young woman laughed and patted him on the back._

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_"Just wondering if you were doing alright. Are you?" Furrowing his eyebrows, the man looked away, eyes full of hurt and anger. The woman gave a small look of sympathy before walking in front of the man and facing him so that she was walking backwards._

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_"Oh yeah, the reason why I was here was that I might be staying at Shikoku University for longer than you." The raven-haired man looked at the young woman in front of him._

__

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_"Why?"_

__

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_"Ah, my mother wants me to study design and stuff." She shrugged nonchalantly, some of her layered hair falling off her shoulders._

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_"If you hate it then tell her you don't want to." He stopped walking to glance below, seeing the cherry blossom petals flowing gently in the wind._

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_"I mean, it's not like I hate it…but I'd rather go for editing…because I like English, y'know…" She trailed off, glancing over at the taller man._

__

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_"You were dating him during spring, yeah?" Snapping out of his reverie, the raven-haired man looked over to the shorter before sighing and turning to look out towards the trees._

__

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_"Yeah." The younger one smiled sadly as she went around to link her arm with the older._

__

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_"Sorry to dig into the past and stuff. But you know I want you to get better. Everyone's worrying about you." She looked up to the raven-haired man as she spoke._

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_"Mother doesn't give two shits about me. And I don't even know who Father is."_

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_"Well I do, three shits in fact. And you know who I am." The man watched as the young woman grinned and look outside._

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_"But promise me this." A pained look passed her face before her stoic mask came back on as she looked directly at the older man, holding onto his wrist with both hands._

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_"Please get a proper job. Live your life out there. Stop drinking and being promiscuous with other people. Even though Yokozawa-kun is getting you back on your feet, I'm still worried sick about you. After finding out you two have slept together, I can't be entirely sure if he is capable of looking out for you. It was lucky that I was able to live in the next room to you, but now that I may have to leave you…" The older man watched as the woman gripped his jacket sleeve tightly, her gaze towards the floor._

__

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_"I don't want you to lose it…just because of him…and I don't want you getting swept away with people, as well as Yokozawa-kun." The man slowly wrapped his arms around the younger, bringing her head towards his chest._

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_"I promise. The next time you see me, I'll be a normal, hardworking adult. And maybe on the way I might a woman…or man…" The man felt the younger's shoulders shake slightly in laughter._

__

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_"That's fine. Keep me updated on where you are 'kay? And please come back every New Years to celebrate. If not, then please, just do it for me. I'll freak if you're not there." The older pulled away slightly before placing a small kiss on her head and ruffling her hair._

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_"I promise, Misako."_

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_"Thank you, Masamune."_

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**_\- end of flashback -_ **

* * *

"Ah…damn it all…I wonder what has happened after all these years...I never met up with her since that day…but editing is a really tough job…so she can't blame me for it..." Takano sighed before making his way back into the editorial department.

"Ey Takano-san! What took you so long?" Kisa yelled out in a sing-song voice as he leant back on the flowery computer chair.

"What took me long was Isaka-san's gay explanation that we will be having another newbie editor coming here." Takano watched as everyone looked up in surprise, including Hatori.

"Eh?! Really?!" Kisa yelled out with pieces of dorayaki in his mouth.

"And it's a woman."

"WHAT?!" The Emerald men looked over to see a Sapphire woman in the doorway, face full of shock and tears threatening to fall.

"NO! REJECT HER!" The woman yelled as she placed some chocolates on everyone's desk before fleeing.

"Ah…Valentine's Day already passed…" Mino pointed out. Everyone hummed in agreement.

"Okay everyone, put your chocolates on Onodera's desk, he'll eat it." In a flash there was a pile of chocolates in front of Onodera.

"HEY-"

"Thanks Onodera-kun!~"

"NO WAIT MINO-"

"Thanks Onodera."

"TAKANO-SAN YOU CAN'T JU-"

"Yay! Thanks Ricchan!~"

"NO COME ON WHY KISA-"

"You are very kind, Onodera."

"WHAT NO HATORI-SAN WAIT!" Everyone began to resume their work and shut out the futile protests from a certain brunette editor.

* * *

**_\- night at marukawa -_ **

_'All done…'_ Onodera sighed as he pushed away from his desk to stand up and stretch, stifling a yawn. He soon snapped back to his senses, realising that he wasn't the only one. Once again, both Onodera and Takano were the last ones to leave. But luckily, seeing as he finished everything, he began to rush out of the door before bumping into Yokozawa.

"Y-Yokozawa-san!" Onodera panicked slightly, only to see that Yokozawa was a bit dishelved.

"Onodera." Yokozawa regained his composure before calmly striding over to Takano. Onodera looked down quietly before moving towards the door again. That was until he heard,

"Masamune, did you hear that Misako-san is applying in Marukawa?" Onodera stopped dead in his tracks, curious about their chat.

_'Misako-san?'_

"Yeah, in the afternoon, you're pretty slow at catching up today." Onodera turned around to see Yokozawa crossing his arms and Takano still seated at his desk.

"I was out somewhere in the afternoon, it was when I returned that was when Isaka-san told me."

"Alright then." Takano murmured sarcastically before continuing.

"I have no idea what her motives are in coming here though." The raven added.

"Didn't Isaka-san tell you?" Yokozawa asked. Takano looked up at Yokozawa curiously. "What about?"

Yokozawa sighed. "You don't know? What did you say to him?"

"Nothing much, but he didn't say anything more than getting a new subordinate."

"Is that so? When I met up with Isaka-san he seemed a bit off to me, but when he told me about what happened to Misako-san…I just couldn't process it." Onodera watched as Takano gave his colleague a perplexed look before he continued on.

"Misako-san...she cracked under the pressure of her family's expectations. Big time. She just had a complete mental breakdown-"

"Ha?!" Onodera slightly flinched when Takano made a loud clatter as he stood up.

"When?!" Onodera finally gave his full attention towards the other two. Onodera slightly wondered what type of person this 'Misako' was that could make Takano pale with shock and anger.

"Last year, she just completely lost it."

"U-um…" The two men looked at Onodera, who was faintly squirming under their stares.

"If I may ask…is this the new person coming here in Emerald soon?"

"Yes." The two replied in unison.

"A-ah…okay…"

"Honestly," Yokozawa started as he turned to look at Takano. "I wasn't expecting it either." He agreed, slumping himself into Kisa's seat. Onodera kept by the doorway as he glanced at Takano who had calmed down.

"…what do mean by she cracked?..."

"Like I said, under her family. She disappeared without a trace one day, and didn't return until four months ago. Apparently she barely graduated Shikoku College."

"Barely?!"

"Yeah, after the huge disappearance on her part, once she returned, her family convinced the headmaster to just let her graduate with her overall scores instead of going into the final exam."

"…" Onodera saw Takano grip his head in frustration as he sighed exasperatedly, the manuscript in his hand long forgotten, now sprawled on the floor.

"But now seeing as she wanted to be in the editing department, her family allowed her to go, and she's recovered now."

"What type of state was she in when she returned?" Takano asked quietly, refusing to lift his head up from his hand.

"Complete horror, basically. She refuses to tell anyone how to this day, so everyone's assuming that she ran off and just drank her days away."

"…damn it…get her in Marukawa by tomorrow, I'm counting on you, Yokozawa." Takano spoke up a bit louder now as he packed up all his belongings.

"I'll be sure to let Isaka-san know. Oh, and Masamune." Stopping his actions, he looked at Yokozawa, who had a serious face on.

"She's done everything in her power just to stay with you, I think it's best if you at least tried to return the favour." Takano nodded silently as he made his way out.

"Onodera, we're going home."

"Eh? A-ah…okay." Onodera quietly followed Takano towards the elevator and out of Marukawa.

The walk towards the train station was deadly silent, and the tension began to get heavier by the minute. Onodera finally took a deep breath as he spoke up.

"U-um…Takano-san?"

"Yeah?"

"Who is…'Misako-san' exactly?" The question was left unanswered for a few minutes before Takano broke the silence.

"Takashi Misako. I've known her for a long while. She helped me up when I wasn't stable." Onodera perked his head up, feeling his chest clench tightly, knowing the reason why. Takano seemed to sense that and sighed.

"Onodera, it's not just you. I've told you that already. It was just everything being piled up. Anywho, she was also with me during middle school but went to a different high school, but we ended up at the same university. And then as I graduated, she stayed back because her course was longer than mine." Takano turned around to face Onodera, by now the two were standing at the front of the station.

"And well…since she looked after me I would have to tell her my problems so she'd know my condition. So basically saying, I told her about you." Onodera's breath hitched.

_'…does she hate me?'_

"But the reaction I got surprised me. She was hoping that we'll find each other again. She seemed to feel terrible about it." At this, Onodera was stunned.

"Why would she be feeling terrible?" Takano shrugged as he walked alongside Onodera to the train.

"Dunno, I can't remember what I told her back then, but she doesn't hate you." Onodera looked ahead of him as he went on board, with Takano following closely behind. Staying near the window, Onodera blinked, realising that him and Takano were actually having a non work-related conversation. He shook his head, slightly blushing as he glanced outside, but he caught Takano's gaze in the reflection.

"W-what?"

"You're still having a meal with me you know. You promised."

"No I didn't! You made that decision!"

"You're still coming over."

"H-hey! Don't decide so suddenly like that!"

"I just wanna stay with you for a while, is that so hard?" Onodera looked down, flustered as he hid his blush from Takano. They soon reached their stop and walked to their apartment complex, Onodera walking a bit faster.

"W-well…" Onodera froze as he felt arms wrap around him, feeling Takano's breath on his exposed neck.

"Why don't you let me in, Onodera?" The shorter man felt that there was more meaning behind the sentence, but brushed it aside as he continued to walk towards the entrance of the complex.

"M-my place is messy, so I can't really let you come in!" Onodera protested as he tried to move into the elevator and shut the doors. Takano quickly went in before they completely shut.

"Idiot, like hell I'm taking the stairs, we live on the 12th floor." Takano spoke out as he stood in the back corner.

"Onodera."

"Y-yes?"

"Is everything okay with Isaka-san? I remembered you guys had a conversation a few days ago." Onodera froze once he exited the elevator, stammering out his reply.

"Y-Yeah, everything's fine, he just wanted to discuss something with me." Onodera murmured as he rummaged through his bag to find his keys.

"I see." Onodera had a feeling that Takano wanted to say something else but seemed to hold it in. Nevertheless, the brunette continued in search for his keys, ignoring the hard stare drilling at the back of his head.

"…did you…by any chance, talk about your parents?" Standing rigid in his search for his key, he glanced up to Takano with a shocked look. _'Takano-san's sharp.'_

"Well…not really…" Takano watched Onodera's movements with sharp eyes. _'He's lying.'_

"But anyway, why would you want to know?" Onodera half-heartedly protested.

"Aren't we dating?"

"No we're not!" Onodera replied almost instantly, his face flushed. He thought he saw a hint of anguish wash over the raven-haired man's face but it seemed to remain stoic.

"A-anyway, sorry, I'm going to bed now, good ni-" Onodera didn't have time of finish his sentence as his key was snatched out of his grasp and watched as the older man walked into his own apartment.

"Takano-san! Give me back my ke-" Onodera hastily entered the older man's apartment, only to hear it shut behind him.

"Good, now we can eat dinner." Takano walked off to his kitchen, spinning Onodera's key in his finger. Onodera sighed tiredly as he padded over to the kitchen as well. Deciding on moving over to the couch, Onodera slumped himself into the comfy furniture as he dazedly stared up to the ceiling.

"What do you feel like?" Takano asked from behind the kitchen. Onodera looked at him tiredly and yawned.

"I feel like going back to my room…"

"That's not a proper answer, now tell me." Onodera moved his head towards his boss, flushing slightly as he saw Takano donning a plain green apron over his black work shirt. Noticing the blush, Takano smirked as he leant against the fridge.

"Or do you feel like… _me_?" Blushing harder, Onodera stood up with his bag over his shoulder.

"No! Why would I?! That's cannibalism! And besides! I don't think you would taste very nice!" Raising an eyebrow, Takano stared at the blushing brunette, who had a finger pointed at him.

" _That's_ what you take issue in?" Lost for words, Onodera shook his head and marched off towards the genkan. About to grab the doorhandle, Onodera's wrist was suddenly pinned against the wall, as well as the rest of his body and felt a pair of warm lips against his. His legs slowly giving in, Onodera felt himself slowly slide down against the wall, as the kiss grew deeper and intense. Letting out a moan against the other man's lips, Onodera found it harder to protest against him. Takano, finally parting away for air, glanced down at the flushed brunette, breathing heavily.

"So what do you feel like, Onodera?" Suddenly feeling tired; Onodera felt his vision grow fuzzy as his eyelids lowered.

"Onodera?" Was the last thing he heard before closing his eyes completely.

* * *

"…mm…" Onodera's eyelids fluttered open as he sat up and stretched his back. Then reality suddenly hit him as he realised he wasn't in his own bed and it was already early morning. Glancing over to the shirtless sleeping man beside him, panic washed over Onodera as he quietly removed the futon covering his legs.

He glanced down at his body, relieved that he was fully clothed, and quietly began to inch away from the raven sleeping peacefully beside him. Observing the man's chest as it rose and fell after every breath, Onodera blushed, realising who he was looking at, and shook his head vigorously before he fell off the bed from a loud ringtone resonating through the room. Takano growled as he woke up and stretched, before reaching over to grab his phone and answer it.

"Hello? This is Takano." Onodera peeked over from the other side of the bed quietly to discover Takano falling off the bed in shock as well.

"Misako?!" Onodera watched as Takano began to comically run around to fix himself up and place on a casual shirt, with the phone wedged inbetween his shoulder and ear.

"Why didn't you tell me earlier?! Hah?! You told me last night?! Ah…yeah you did…" Onodera followed Takano out to the kitchen and sat on one of the chairs as he watched Takano run into the hall. Onodera glanced over to the wall clock. 6:27am. _'Damn that's so early.'_ He thought as he heard a click of a door.

"I seriously can't believe you forgot our conversation last night." The brunette heard a yawn coming off from the older man. Curious to see what this Misako looked like, Onodera decided to peek into the hall.

"No I do remember, it was just that I was half-asleep when I answered your call." Onodera watched as the girl chuckled and reach up to touch Takano's hair. Onodera frowned slightly at the sight, but schooled his features as he continued to observe.

"Wow, your hair has grown so much! And you've finally parted it. Now I can see those eyes of yours clearly. But to be straight with you, face it, you're almost 30 and you're trying so hard to look 23. Accept your fate." She looked to be in her late 20s, close to Onodera's height with black-brown hair layered down to her waist, deep brown eyes and side parted bangs.

"I never had the time to cut it, due to my job and all. It's not like I wanted it like this."

"Ah! So you're a working man now hm?~" The girl brightened up instantly and smiled widely at Takano, as the older did the same. Onodera watched as her gaze fell upon him, and stood up straight and bowed.

"Ah, I'm Onodera Ritsu, I'm Takano-san's neighbour and…co-worker." Onodera quietly glared at Takano, who seemed to have taken an interest at the boss and subordinate phrase, and swiftly changed it to 'co-worker'.

"I'm Takashi Misako, pleased to meet you." The woman smiled softly as Takano closed the door.

"Hey Misako, did you only have his duffle bag with you?" Misako nodded as she fumbled with the sleeves of her jacket.

"Yeah, it's got most of my stuff to stay here for a week since…well you should remember the rest." Misako trailed off, entering the kitchen with Takano. Onodera cocked his head to the side in confusion, and Takano seemed to notice it.

"When you fell asleep, Misako called me, saying she moved in recently, but needed a place to stay for a while since the plumbing at her place needed to be fixed." Takano added as he placed Misako's bag onto the couch, and moved to the kitchen. Onodera walked over to his workbag a picked it up to check if his faxed manuscripts were still there.

"I've heard you're applying for Marukawa." Takano started off.

"Yup! I applied for Marukawa Amethyst!"

"Wait…what?!" Onodera glanced up at Misako, who had a puzzled look on her face as Takano gripped the pan he was about to place on the stove.

"I applied for Marukawa Amethyst…?"

"U-uhm, I applied for Marukawa Amethyst too but I was placed in Marukawa…" Onodera trailed off.

"…Emerald…" Takano finished off the sentence. And it hit the two males.

"Isaka-san you bastard, you're gonna pay for sending imbeciles to my editing division…" Takano muttered darkly.

"We're not imbeciles!" Misako and Onodera retorted in unison. Takano sighed exasperatedly before moving to the bedroom.

"I know that well, but you two often half-ass things that make me wonder if you actually have common sense."

"Watch it Masamune!" Misako snapped. Onodera blinked as he glanced at the woman beside him. _'She called Takano-san…by his first name…'_ The brunette looked away, hiding his eyes behind his bangs as he grabbed his things and moved to the door, hearing Takano call him back, but paid no heed to it.

"A-ah…I'll be leaving now, I need to get ready for the day. Excuse me." Onodera murmured as he hastily shut the door behind him and moved inside his apartment.

'She called Takano-san by his first name…' Onodera repeated in his mind once more. Shaking his head, he moved to the lounge and slumped on the couch, sighing.

"W-well…it's none of my business anyway…" The brunette told himself once more as he grabbed his things and moved to eat a proper breakfast for once.


	5. Dread

"Masamune, I _really_ don't get shoujo manga, I thought it was meant to be fluffy and stuff…"

"Describe 'fluffy'."

"Well…you know…the happy kissy scenes…and stuff like that."

"To be brutally honest, that was a shit answer."

"You don't freaking say…" The raven woman groaned as Takano pointed to another panel in the old storyboard. At once Onodera came in with a group of manuscripts in his arms.

"How's the training Takashi-san?" The brunette questioned, plopping some more storyboards onto the conference desk.

"I'm dying…" Misako groaned as she slumped on the table.

"Can't I just meet the workers first?" She asked.

"No, learn the basics of shoujo manga _then_ I'll let you meet them." Takano replied, fiddling around with the empty can of coffee in his hand.

After the events of Misako arriving in the morning, once breakfast passed, all three of them boarded the train to Marukawa. Upon arriving there, Takano seemed to be the epitome of death as he moved to look for Isaka. Conveniently however, it seemed he had a business trip to attend for the next few days, leaving a very furious Takano in its wake.

Still in a sour mood, Takano decided to teach Misako the fundamentals of a good shoujo manga, but it seemed it didn't program into her brain quite easily as Onodera's.

"Fine, one way or another, I'm gonna meet them." She muttered determinedly as she browsed over the manuscripts.

"Onodera, check if everyone's there, then tell them what is needed to be done today, and if they ask where I am, I'm in a meeting." The brunette nodded and walked outside, striding over to the Emerald Department. But something seemed to bother the brunette as he scrunched his eyebrows in confusion.

' _Why does Takashi-san call Takano-san by his first name…?'_ Onodera thought blankly as he moved into the elevator and pressed '4'.

"Even Takano-san calls her by her first name…" He drew his lips into a tight line, as he couldn't wrap his head around it.

" _Takashi Misako. She was someone who took care of me during college."_ Onodera relayed the words in his head as he stepped out of the elevator.

' _I only thought it was Yokozawa who took care of him…'_ He soon had a strange feeling growing inside of him as he made his way to Emerald.

_'What…is this feeling…?'_

* * *

"Ricchan…good morning…!" Was the tired call of Kisa who leant back in his seat as he yawned.

"Ah…good morning." Onodera replied as he checked to see if everyone was here.

"Um…Takano-san's in a meeting at the moment, but he told me that we should get our authors ready with their final drafts so it can be submitted soon."

"Ah crap! My author's so behind!" Kisa exclaimed as he hit his head on the desk with a small amount of force. The brunette patted Kisa on the back as he looked over to Hatori.

"I don't think Yoshikawa-sensei can make it. _Again._ " Hatori muttered out the last word darkly as he glared at his phone in front of him. Onodera smiled nervously as he glanced to Mino, but looked away swiftly as Mino grasped onto a cutter and stood up to have a small 'meeting' with his author.

"I think it's only my authors who are doing fine at the moment…" Onodera suddenly wished he never uttered that aloud as a few glares from his co-workers came into view. Sighing exasperatedly, Onodera sat in his own seat and began to work.

* * *

"…hey, Masamune." Tilting his head up, Takano pulled off his glasses and rubbed the bridge of his nose.

"What?"

"You know…we haven't been in touch after all these years…" Sighing softly, he patted the younger woman on the shoulder.

"It's work that I have to deal with. Manga editing's a 365 day job, and the years fly by so fast." Watching the woman nod, he moved his hand back to the manuscript.

"Which reminds me, what happened last year?" Seeing the woman freeze up, Takano paid full attention to Misako who was fiddling in her spot.

"What do you mean?"

"Apparently you broke down…what's going on?" Takano furrowed his eyebrows when the woman lightly chuckled.

"Is that what they called it…?" Frowning, Takano placed a hand on top of Misako's head so her gaze could meet his.

"Yeah, so tell me, why?"

"…I guess I didn't want it in the end…I didn't want my family to control whatever I did…so I ran off…" She trailed off as her gaze moved off to the pile of manuscripts sprawled on the table. Smiling softly, Takano lightly punched Misako on the shoulder, receiving one in return as he chuckled.

"So I guess we're on the same page, being rebellious and not following family's choices and so forth." Takano replied, handing over another manuscript to the woman.

"Also, I heard from Isaka-san that you took up interior decorating." The raven man watched as Misako fanned a hand in front of her face.

"Well, not because I was interested, really. It was just to make some money to live on until I could find a proper job. During the last year of college, I took up that part time job and quit three months ago. And then I went into shounen manga editing for two months…and now I'm in Marukawa." Takano hummed in response, tapping his sensei's faxed storyboard with his red marker.

"You should've just settled yourself into interior decorating."

"Why?" Misako asked curiously, watching Takano sceptically as a smirk made it's way to his face.

"Because I'm going to work your ass off and give you the most annoying authors you'll ever meet."

"You wouldn't." Misako replied incredulously, gaping at the raven.

"Oh, I would, now start learning." Takano chuckled as he circled an area in his storyboard.

"You're going to regret this Masamune." Glancing over to the woman, he ruffled her hair as he propped his feet up on the table, placing his glasses back on.

"Yeah, I'd like to see you try."

* * *

"Sensei _please_! The manuscript's probably fine! Just please hand it to me!" Kisa screeched into the phone, finally at cracking point as he ruffled his hair in stress.

"EHHH?! Mutou-sensei! Please don't go off and change it! It's really okay! You've got nothing to lose!" Onodera replied back hastily as he slightly inched the phone away from his ear, the author on the receiving side bawling her eyes out.

"Yoshikawa…I'm going over there in five minutes, and I expect that manuscript to be done…" Hatori murmured darkly into the telephone, before slamming it down and walking out.

"Kisa, you're in charge." Kisa gave a haste nod before slamming his head on the desk, frustrated that his author wouldn't listen to him. Onodera shivered as Mino continued to chat normally with his author over the phone, however, there was a slight sinister tone laced in his voice as he played around with a cutter in his other hand.

"RICCHAN! HURRY UP AND GET DOWN TO THE LOBBY! MY AUTHOR FINALLY GAVE IN!" Kisa yelled in a triumphant tone, as he stood up happily. Onodera nodded before rushing off downstairs, almost bumping into Takano and Misako.

"Ah! Takano-san! Takashi-san!" Onodera huffed as he glanced over to Misako, who was looking at him questioningly. Takano seemed unperturbed.

"What's the status?"

"Well, Kisa-san's author finally handed over the manuscript, Hatori-san left to grab Yoshikawa's manuscript, and Mino-san's well…being Mino-san." Nodding quietly, Takano made his way to Emerald, pushing Misako to Onodera.

"W-woah!" Onodera caught her in time, before looking over to Takano.

"Onodera, take her with you, it's Hell Week and she won't handle it." Watching as the woman grit her teeth, she stood up straight and huffed.

"Oi! I can handle _twice_ as much as you!" Onodera blinked and covered his smile with the back of his hand at the woman's enthusiasm as Takano burst out laughing. Misako ran up to slap the raven on the arm. Calming down from his laughing fit, Takano sighed with a small smile.

"Like hell you can, go with Onodera, you're a newbie, and you need to see how authors pass over their manuscripts to their editors." Misako huffed in annoyance as she walked alongside Onodera to the lobby. Takano just shrugged before walking inside Emerald to deal with a melodramatic Kisa.

"Ah, Sugisaki-sensei! Glad you made it in time!" Onodera bowed slightly as the woman smiled wearily, noticeable dark bags under her eyes.

"N-no problems Onodera-k-kun…um…just don't tell Kisa anything." She replied with a slight croak in her voice as all three of them made their way to the cafeteria.

"I won't." Onodera smiled lightly as he gestured to Misako.

"This is Takashi Misako, she is starting today in Marukawa Emerald." Onodera then turned to Misako. "Takashi-san, this is Sugisaki Ayumi-sensei, she is one of our veteran shoujo manga authors." Misako bowed politely to the other woman.

"Oh, it's a pleasure to meet you Sugisaki-sensei. I look forward to working with you in the near future."

"I-it's nice to meet you…" Clearing his throat, Onodera sat himself down next to the raven woman, across from the author.

"What have you done so far?"

"Uhm…I haven't put tone on the last six pages, and everything else should just be typesetting." She replied, handing the last few pages to the brunette.

"Ah I see, we'll just take it from here then. I'll just do a final check on the manuscript and we'll leave it at that." Misako looked at the black and white pages in awe at the striking artwork.

"Wow…it's so pretty…" The author chuckled softly as she thanked the raven woman.

"T-thank you, Takashi-san." Sugisaki-sensei giggled. Onodera smiled at the two of them as he continued to read it over and finally straighten it before standing up.

"Thank you for all your hard work so far sensei, please rest well and I'll see you again some other time." Onodera bowed before leaving, Misako following closely behind.

"Onodera-san, just wondering, how did you end up living next door to Masamu- ah sorry, Takano-san?" Onodera was quiet for moment as he continued to look ahead, before replying to Misako.

"Ah it was just out of coincidence in all honesty. But I guess it's not everyday you live next to your boss I guess." Onodera chuckled a bit. Misako smiled and followed Onodera into the elevator. Soon enough the brunette decided to break the silence.

"If I may ask, how do you know Takano-san? I mean…it's just that…you seem to know him very well since you call him by his first name." Watching as the raven shrugged, Onodera fiddled with his shirtsleeves, wondering if that was even a good question to ask at all.

"…I guess you can say, it's complicated, but I wouldn't want to go any further into this topic. It's a little…well, personal." The brunette was slightly taken aback at the sudden directness but remained quiet. All the while he knew he felt something shoot inside of him, permeating his heart. _Irritation_.

_Damn it Ritsu, stop acting like an idiot. You don't have to care about them to such an extent._

"Ah I see…sorry for intruding." Drawing his lips to a thin line, the duo moved out of the elevator.

"RICCHAN! YOU'RE A LIFESAVER! THANK YOU SO MUCH!" Misako blinked in awe as she watched the short raven man snatch the manuscript off of Onodera.

"Takano-san? Is this the new editor?" Misako turned her head to the tall brunette who just recently entered.

"Yeah, everyone, this is Takashi Misako. She's a new editor but she has some background on manga editing."

"Really? How long?" The short raven man asked Misako as Onodera sat in the seat next to him.

"Uhm…just two months…but I kinda understand it I guess…Takano-san's been teaching me, so I shouldn't have anything to worry about." Misako suddenly furrowed her eyebrows as all the editors except for Onodera and Takano looked at her with pitiful eyes.

"Good luck Taka-chan~"

" _Taka-chan_?" Misako asked incredulously.

"Just a personal nickname~"

"Oh…and you are…?"

"Kisa Shouta!~"

"Mino Kanade."

"Hatori Yoshiyuki, pleased to meet you Takashi-san." Just as Onodera opened his laptop, he felt his phone ring, the tone signalling that it was a personal call. Excusing himself, Misako sat in the free seat that was inbetween Takano and Kisa.

"As I was asking, what's up with the pitiful eyes?" Feeling Kisa pull her closer, Misako listened as Kisa began to whisper.

"Takano-san's a real hardass, if he thinks you can't do it, he'll make sure you never go into this work field again. However, if you have potential, he'll kill you with his training. Trust me, it's worse than Spartan training. He'll make sure you _never_ forget it. And then comes the normal everyday working life, until Hell Week. And then this will happen all year round, a never ending cycle. Hope you'll like it here~" Smiling brightly, Kisa returned to type away at his computer as the raven female gaped in shock before slowly glancing at the smirking editor-in-chief.

"Just _what in the hell_ do you do here _exactly_?" Humming slightly, Takano chuckled as he circled an area of his storyboard.

"Oh, it's _nothing much, really_."

* * *

As that conversation happened, Onodera moved outside to answer his phone.

"Hello?" All Onodera received on the other end was a few shouts from multiple people and a female.

"Hello?" Frowning slightly as no one answered, Onodera continued to listen at the continuous shouts, trying to decipher what was going on.

" _Quick! Get him in here!"_

" _You're getting the defibrillator! Now move!"_

" _LET ME PASS!"_ Feeling his heart quicken at the wailing voice, Onodera glanced at the caller ID. _'It's Mother.'_

"Mother?!" Seeing the curious stares from other passing workers, Onodera made his way down to the lobby, hearing cries from his mother as his stomach began to churn furiously.

"Mother?!" Knowing that calling wouldn't do anything, Onodera continued to listen in as his heart thumped loudly in his chest.

" _Ma'am please! Move back into the emergency room!"_

" _CLEAR!"_

" _NO I NEED TO SEE HIM!"_

" _ONODERA-SAMA PLEASE PASS ME THE PHONE!"_ Immediately knowing who the next person was, Onodera shouted out, "An-chan?!"

" _RICCHAN! GET TO K MEDICAL HOSPITAL NOW!"_ Onodera felt his heart drop to his stomach as he formed a reply.

"Why?! What's going on?!" No answer, only yells from doctors and nurses alike as they shouted 'CLEAR!'.

"An-chan! Are you hearing me?!" Gritting his teeth at the lack of an answer, Onodera was just about ready to scream into the phone before-

" _YOUR FATHER HAS GONE INTO CARDIAC ARREST!"_


	6. Quiet moments

_**\- Onodera's POV -** _

Everything that happened soon after was just a complete blur. The next thing I knew, I was in the hospital reception, desperately looking for An-chan, Mother, anyone. I soon saw Sato-san running towards me as pale as a ghost. My heart thumped loudly in my chest as I waited for his answer.

"Ritsu-sama! Your father's is under good condition right now. But he's still in a coma, but we're allowed to see him now." I sighed, relieved, but suddenly staggered forwards a bit, which caught my butler's attention.

"Ritsu-sama!"

"Oh, ah…sorry Sato-san, I'm just really relieved." I smiled at him reassuringly. I must've been completely exhausted after literally running a whole marathon to the hospital. He smiled in return as he gestured towards the corridor and walked down, with me following behind.

"Ricchan!" I let out an 'oof!' as I felt a sudden weight landing on me, causing me to stagger backwards a bit. But Sato-san – who was behind me – steadied me before I could fall. I looked down to see An-chan hugging me tightly as I patted her head and sighed a bit.

"An-chan…" I looked back up to see my mother holding onto my father's hand, her eyes closed as she seemed to be in deep thought before opening them and glanced over to me with sad eyes. I was taken aback at bit, since I never saw my mother look so…defenceless in front of me. She was always adamant and cheerful, so it was a shock to see her so tired like this. Even when she herself stayed in the hospital, Mother was so stubborn, insisting that she would be discharged soon since she 'had plans that can't be left waiting for too long'.

"Ritsu…" Blinking out my reverie, I gently pulled away from An-chan to sit in the free chair beside my mother. I lightly leant my head on her shoulder as I rubbed small circles behind her back, she must be shaken up the most about this situation.

"My son…I'm so glad you're here…" Sighing heavily, I took her hand and squeezed it a bit and I remained quiet as I glanced to my father. He looked so pale, however he was breathing calmly and that let my racing heart slow back down to it's normal pace. We all didn't say a word for the rest of the hour, not even An-chan. She would always try to make conversation, but I guess this really wasn't the time. After a few minutes a nurse came in and told us to go outside for a while so she could check up on my father. As we filed out, my mother beckoned me to her and watched as An-chan and Sato-san walk the other way.

"Ritsu…I'm sorry you had to come all the way here." Shaking my head softly, I hugged Mother.

"No Mother, it's alright. It wasn't really far anyway…" Oh no, that's right, I left Marukawa without a notice or anything at all. Takano-san's going to be ticked off again, but why should I care? It's my family anyways!

"I really…really would like a decision from you Ritsu." Pulling away, I swallowed the lump in my throat as Mother stared coldly at me.

"You see…your father and I…have arguments on when you will take over the company." This again. Please Mother, Father's just suffered a heart attack, why are you talking about this right now?

"And he's growing old…he's at a point where he needs to retire already and take it easy. Being the Head of Onodera Publishing isn't a very easy occupation after all."

"But Mother, I said that taking over isn't my first choice of a job."

"But Ritsu my son, please understand! We're already 64! We can't be overworked anymore like this! Our health is slowly deteriorating, and I'm not sure how many more years we can take before we work ourselves into a hospital." I held my breath throughout her talk. I aimed my eyes to the ground. She can't be saying that…she'll _die_ , or something, right?

"Maybe it's the accident that's causing me to act like this, but if something were to happen to your father again…I just…I can't _bear_ to think of a life without Ichirou…" I watched silently as my mother's sobs racked her body. Embracing her once more, I couldn't help but feel tears threatening to fall from my own eyes. But I need to stay strong for Mother.

"Oh…Ichirou…" Mother whispered miserably as she clutched my shirt. Rubbing her back soothingly, my chest began to throb as I continued to listen to my mother cry. Did I really refuse my whole planned future for this long? Did I cause everyone's worries and stresses if I would never become the Head? Did I cause my mother and father to argue with each other on how I should live out my life? Did I really hurt An-chan after completely rejecting her like that? How long did I keep everyone in the darkness? _Why did I even do all of this in the first place?_

_Because of Takano-san._

I sharply sucked in a breath. No, it can't be, right? No, it's obvious it can't be…I just wanted to create a bestseller without my father's help, I just wanted to become an editor for literature, I just wanted to find someone that was of my own choice, not arranged from childhood. _'Haven't you already found that someone?'_ But…he's just my boss. Nothing more…but…maybe…I did…really do everything… _because of Takano-san_.

"Ritsu…I need your decision…I know we have planned to make it a year before your decision, but I can't stand to see Ichirou like this. I can't take it when he is working himself to the bone…you need to say something soon. I have to know, my son." I gazed at her puffy emerald eyes as she placed her hand softly against my cheek. I tilted my head down and clenched my fists. This was all because of me, isn't it? Feeling my chest constrict tightly, I swallowed slowly. That's it. No more running anymore. I don't want anyone to hurt anymore because of me. And at that moment, I blurted out something that could possibly change my life forever.

"I'll take over."

* * *

_**\- narrator's POV - at marukawa -** _

"I'll be leaving now Takano-san, good night. Good night Takashi-san." Hatori gave a nod to the two before staggering out, Hell Week beginning to descend on him. Misako gave a small wave as she sat back down on her seat.

"Yup, good work today." Takano muttered before placing some drafted storyboards onto his desk. The young woman gazed at the man as she closed her laptop and glanced over to the far seat.

"Hey, where was Onodera-san all day? Have you gotten any news of him?"

"Who the hell knows?" Takano spat out, drawing his lips to a thin line as he pulled off his glasses and pinched the bridge of his nose.

"I know you're upset at him for just going off without a notice, but give him some slack."

"It's not like it will change anything, it's his fault if anything isn't submitted in." Misako winced at the cold tone in Takano's voice, before placing her chin on the desk.

"Masamune, he left without a notice. Big deal. All day I've been hearing you go on that 'Onodera is being an idiot' or 'he's never going to get things done' or 'he's probably run off to see how sales are going even though it isn't his job'. Chill for a minute dammit. Why are you being such a tightass on him?" Misako frowned as Takano glared at her but didn't reply back, but instead gave a straight out answer to her question.

"Because I love him."

"…eh?" Takano watched blankly as Misako had confusion written all over her face. Takano wasn't the type to easily give away information like this, but the woman was already aware that he was attracted to a guy in high school, as well as most of his past, so it did no harm to him as he repeated the sentence once more.

"I love him."

"But…wait…but shouldn't people be…nicer to their lovers…or something?" Misako glared a bit when Takano chuckled at her and flicked her forehead.

"You're right, don't get me wrong, but I often mix my personal life with my professional life, and I really just can't help it. He keeps on refusing me, I keep on coming onto him way too fast, and we just end up fucking up the order of a normal relationship." Takano spoke out nonchalantly, leaning his head back and sighing.

"Well, at least you two having the time of your life, I guess."

"Not really. More like annoying."

"Probably because you're a complete asshole."

"Shut up." Takano kicked Misako's leg underneath the table, as the woman wheeled away in her chair and laughed.

"Learn to handle relationships better then!"

"Hah. Like you're one to talk." Takano smiled amusingly.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Misako smiled back knowingly as she stood and placed her chair back.

"Nothing, nothing at all." Takano replied back as he stood up and packed up his bag, just when Onodera came in.

"Onodera, where the hell were you the whole work da-"

"Sorry!" Onodera bowed down hastily.

"Ah- uhm…my father went into cardiac arrest this afternoon." Watching Takano quietly, Misako wasn't surprised to see the slight shock written on his face, as well as guilt.

"…Is he alright?" Takano asked calmly.

"Yes, but he's still under a coma, and our family decided on taking turns to see him…a-and…" Onodera lifted his head back up and aimed his eyes somewhere else as Takano tilted his head curiously.

"And?" There wasn't any answer from Onodera. Just as Takano was about to ask something once more Misako cut in.

"I'm gonna go outside, okay? See you." Misako spoke out. Judging from Onodera's reactions, Misako had a feeling that Onodera had something to tell Takano, only that he felt uncertain when she was around, so Misako took it upon herself to leave the building and wait for Takano. Back in the department, Onodera gripped onto the handle of his bag tightly and chewed the inside of his lip as he looked down onto the ground.

"Onodera." Looking up, Onodera's breath hitched when he met intense amber eyes gazing at him.

"What's wrong?" The brunette opened his mouth to reply, but felt his lip tremble slightly and shut his mouth as he cursed silently. _'Why it is so hard?! Just tell him! But…do I really want to tell him? Wait, why am I even trying to?! He doesn't need to know…'_ All of Onodera's thoughts flew out the window when he felt a warm hand gently cup his face and tilt it up to look at those captivating amber eyes once more.

"Onodera…"

"Ah…" The brunette trailed off when Takano slowly leaned closer to his face, holding his gaze, and soon their lips brushed against each others softly, sending a small jolt of electricity down Onodera's spine.

"I-I…" Onodera started, but closed his eyes as he swallowed heavily.

_'Because it's Takano-san…I can't tell him.'_

"Do you want to go somewhere?" Onodera asked before his face paled when he registered what he finally said, and soon flushed into many deep shades of red.

"Eh?" Takano spoke out. Onodera stared into confused amber eyes, and moved back a bit to look away.

"I-I mean! I need you to check something! Saitou-sensei has gained some inspiration and has a few ideas on the next chapter for her series, so I would like if you would go over them and see if they are okay." Watching as the raven man furrowed his eyebrows, Onodera blushed even deeper this time.

"Then why were you saying if you wanted to go somewhere?"

"I didn't know what to say!" _'It was just in the heat of the moment! That's all!'_

"Amusement park."

"Eh?"

"After we get over next month's issue, we'll go to the amusement park." Takano spoke out as he slung his bag over his shoulder and walked out of the department with Onodera following behind him.

"Wait! No! There's no need to! I'll be busy then and-!" Onodera stopped there, drawing his lips to a thin line as he shadowed his eyes with his fringe.

"What?" Takano asked as he turned around, shoving one hand into his pocket.

"N-Nothing…" Onodera spoke out quietly as he continued walking on.

"…Onodera."

"What?"

"What were you going to say?"

"…I've forgotten already." _'I'll be busy discussing with Mother about my future.'_

They both knew it was a complete lie, but neither questioned it, leaving a thick air of silence, questions and answers lingering in their minds as they travelled out of the building together.

But the brunette didn't complain when the raven suddenly took ahold of his hand and squeezed it. Onodera closed his eyes, brows furrowed slightly. The raven seemed to know what he needed at that time, and he was thankful for that.

And to be absolutely truthful to himself, he was the tiniest bit happy as well.

* * *

Right outside the building was Misako, smiling softly when she saw them and joined the two as they made their way to the train station. It was ride was silent, except for the occasional yawning and stretching throughout the journey. When they reached their stop, off it was quiet too, until Takano spoke out that Onodera should come over if he needs help with Saitou-sensei.

"Oh? So Onodera-san's coming over?" Misako asked as they boarded off the train and walked their way uphill.

"Yeah, he needs some feedback on his author's ideas." Takano replied as he glanced over to Onodera, who was walking with his gaze aimed right ahead of him.

"Ah, I see…" Misako looked up to Takano before glancing to Onodera, who had been eerily quiet for a while, but thought nothing of it as they all arrived in front of Takano's apartment.

"I'll make us some tea." Misako added quietly as she made her way into the kitchen. Takano and Onodera moved to the lounge not far off and sat across from each other.

"So? What would Saitou-sensei like to do?"

"Well, her basic plot is that the heroine is torn between two love interests. One of the heroine's love interests was actually her deceased lover who had passed away in a failed time travelling experiment. As she moves on, she falls in love with her psychologist, and then her deceased lover surprisingly reappears in her life once more." Onodera states as he pulls out some drafted ideas for Saitou's next chapter.

"And where has it gotten to so far?" Takano inquired as he slipped on his glasses before accepting the drafts from Onodera and browse it through.

"The heroine is in love with both of them. And Saitou-sensei suggested that the psychologist would end up giving up on her since her first love was a much better fit than him."

"And why would she propose that idea?"

"Ah well, she has drawn many scenes that entail her and her deceased lover were practically inseparable a few years back, and that her love for him is still there."

"I see, does she wish to have the heroine fall in love with her deceased lover again?"

"Not really, more or less, she's probably following the readers' opinions."

"What are you expecting Onodera?" Looking up, Onodera paused a bit.

"I'd say that the heroine should fall in love with the psychologist."

"Why is that?" Takano asked as he smiled slightly to Misako, who had handed both males a mug of coffee before moving into the kitchen once more.

"Because, going back to the previous chapters, her deceased lover is experiencing some problems, regarding how he can stabilise his existence in the present."

"And your point is…?"

"Logically speaking, the present the heroine's living in doesn't have enough resources to gather back the information, because after the time travelling incident, it was mentioned that the police had taken away the information and kept it locked away in high security. And the heroine's only a normal woman, so it's irrational the she could easily gain access to such confidential information in a little amount of time, it would be too complicated."

"I'm glad that you voiced that out Onodera, I was thinking the same way." Blushing a bit, Onodera bowed his head.

"A-ah, thank you Takano-san."

"So continuing on from that, you would need to suggest some ideas like this to your author. Since you supposedly assume that she's using readers' opinions for inspiration, that insinuates that you aren't giving her enough feedback for her to move on." Onodera blinked a bit in shock.

"I see…"

"Your ideas are good Onodera, it doesn't hurt to help an author out when they have a writer's block. It's not much different to talking with a literature author." Nodding quietly, Onodera gathered back up the drafts into his bag and stood up.

"Thank you for having me over, I hope it wasn't too much of a hassle." Onodera chuckled a bit as he bowed to Misako.

"Oh no, it's fine! Please continue coming over if you ever need to talk to Masamune." Misako smiled softly at Onodera, before realising something as she looked at the calendar.

"Ah, I need to grab something from the convenience store." Misako stated before moving out onto the hallway. Both males followed her out.

"Why?" Takano asked, shoving his hands into his pockets.

"…uhm…for something…" Misako trailed off. Takano raised an eyebrow.

"Misako." Came his warning tone. Misako squirmed around a bit, blushing before pushing the door open.

"Just lady items!" She huffed. "I'll be back before you know it, see you!" Misako called out as she walked away, closing the door behind her. Onodera also walked to the door quietly, stopping at the genkan when Takano called him.

"Stay, wherever Misako goes, she usually takes her time." Before Onodera could protest, Takano crashed his lips against his as he slowly backed Onodera against the wall and clasped his hand. Pulling away, Takano buried his face into the brunette's shoulder, sighing softly against his exposed neck.

"I want to stay like this…just for a little longer." Holding back a breath, Onodera slowly relaxed and shivered as Takano ran his other hand over his waist and pull him closer that the brunette had no choice but to lean his head against the raven's shoulder.

"Are you okay?" Feeling his breath hitch, Onodera tried to turn his head to glance at Takano, but could only see a mop of black hair.

"Y-yeah, why?" Onodera stuttered out, aiming his eyes to the wall.

"You seemed…elsewhere, like you were distant or something like that. Is it because of your old man?" Suddenly remembering what happened, Onodera shut his eyes as he tried to will his thoughts away.

' _I can't bear to think of a life without Ichirou.'_

' _Ritsu…I need your decision.'_

' _I'll take over.'_

' _Why is it so hard?'_

' _Ritsu_ _…'_

'… _I can't tell him.'_

"Onodera?" Takano hastily pulled away from the brunette, as he watched the tears fall freely from his beloved's eyes. Onodera blinked, bringing a shaky hand to his face and felt the liquid before covering his mouth. Onodera began to hiccup as he hurriedly tried to wipe his tears away, only for his wrist to be pulled back and be brought into a tight embrace.

"Shh… _Ritsu..._ " Takano whispered, rubbing small circles against the brunette's back, hoping that it would ease the uncontrollable shaking from Onodera's shoulders as he silently cried into Takano's chest.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have mentioned anything." Takano murmured into Onodera's hair, listening as the sobs began to die down. Finally calming down, Onodera shakily parted from the raven's embrace as he sniffled. _I can't believe I cried in front of Takano-san. I look so weak compared to him now._ Onodera thought silently as he shadowed his eyes behind his hair.

"I'll be leaving now." Moving towards the door once more and opening it, Onodera jumped when Takano shut it quickly and pulled the brunette into his room and gently laid him on his bed.

"Takano-san! Let me go, I need to go back to my apartme-"

"In that state? Like hell I will." Takano replied as he spooned Onodera from behind.

"Seeing you like that…I knew you wouldn't cope if I left you alone. Just stay here for the night…I want to be by your side." Takano whispered as he kissed the back of the brunette's neck. Having no other choice, Onodera tried to relax into the older man's embrace.

"…thank you…and sorry…" Onodera whispered quietly as he moved his face closer to the blanket to hide his face.

"Why are you saying sorry? It's okay to cry once in a while. I used to cry in college. Usually out of stress and anger, but sometimes for other reasons." Takano murmured quietly as he moved closer to the shorter male.

"…I g-guess…" Onodera bit his lip as he wished for sleep to will him away from everything.

 _I'm sorry, for not telling you. I'm sorry, that I'll leave you. I'm sorry, that you had to fall in love with me. I'm so sorry._ Clenching his teeth, Onodera squeezed his eyes shut, feeling the warm tears pool up once more.

 _I can't do this, I knew it. But I still did, and now I'm paying for it. I really, don't want to go..._ Onodera tried to breathe calmly, not wanting to wake the other, but only felt strong arms turn him around with gentle lips kissing away his tears.

_I'm not ready for this._


	7. Shock

"…mm…" Furrowing his eyebrows a bit, amber eyes opened groggily to glance at a sleeping brunette not too far from him. Lifting his hand up to caress the younger man's cheek gently, he frowned as he saw dried tear trails streamed across his face. _He's been crying in his sleep._ Taking his hand away to place it under his head, Takano looked at Onodera guiltily, not wanting to be the cause of his kouhai's tears. _I shouldn't have said anything, Ritsu was really shaken up about his father I guess…_

Sighing softly, the raven sat up, and watched as the younger shifted in his sleep before breathing calmly once more. Running a hand through Onodera's hair, Takano then stood up and stretched, shuffling towards the kitchen to hear soft breathing from the couch. Takano gazed at the sleeping woman on the couch and smiled softly. Crouching in front of Misako, the raven-haired man tilted his head as Misako mumbled out something.

"…mm…Masa…mune…" He raised an eyebrow. Why would Misako talk about him in her sleep? Takano didn't say anything as Misako began to turn a bit.

"It…hurts…" Blinking, Takano furrowed his eyebrows. What exactly was she talking about?

"I'm so scared… _nii-san_ …" Now that was new. In all the times he had been with Misako, it was the first that the woman ever spoke about having an older brother, where was he? Why was she scared?

"Everyone…they…hate me…I'm just…" Just what? Does her family hate her? Narrowing his eyes, Takano frowned and clenched his fists. He knew she wasn't in good terms with her family, but this was completely ridiculo-

"…a bastard child." _'…what?'_ Standing up in panic, Takano shook her awake as tears began to prick her eyes.

"Misako, wake up." Gasping awake, Misako jolted up in a panic and kept her legs close to her chest as she held back a sob.

"Hey, Misako." Takano sat beside her and tried to pry her arms away, but she stubbornly kept them close to her.

"Who hates you? Who's 'nii-san'? Why didn't you tell me about these things?" Takano began to question, but said nothing more as Misako shook her head.

"N-nothing…it's nothing at all-"

"Fucking bullshit, why didn't you tell me earlier?" No answer. "Misako!" Takano grew frustrated as he finally removed her arms and tilted her face up. Brushing the tears away with his thumb, Takano pulled her into a loose embrace. _'It's the least I can do after all she's done for me during college…'_ Takano thought quietly, running his fingers through her hair.

"Misako…tell me…" Takano frowned as he continued to hold her.

"N-no…I'm okay…I r-really am-"

"Don't beat around the bush, tell me. I can't stand it when you're crying. What happened last year?" Pulling away, Takano ruffled the woman's hair gently.

"Misako…" Takano pleaded quietly, rubbing her arms soothingly. " _Sako-chan…_ " The raven man was at his wits end by now.

"Please don't call me that. I said I don't want to talk about it." Misako moved away from him.

"Why not? We always talk about these things. Isn't that what cousins are for?" Takano spoke softly with a bit of determination in his voice. Misako could only look away.

"Just don't." Misako replied sharply, hinting to Takano that he shouldn't pry anymore into the topic.

Sighing with irritation, Takano stood up and began to walk over to the kitchen to make three mugs of coffee.

"Misako…whenever you're ready, talk to me about it." Takano looked up to see the woman seat herself on a stool. Watching as the woman nodded, Takano then glanced to the door to see Onodera burst in, panting and flushed red.

"Morning." Takano called out to Onodera. The brunette muttered a 'good morning' back before rushing over to the couch to grab his things.

"Ahaha! Sorry for overstaying, uhm…I must've been a bit of a bother to you two ahaha!" Onodera laughed nervously, the blush never fading from his face.

"Onodera, just stay for breakfast." Takano spoke out once more, watching as Misako began to shy away in her seat.

"N-no, it's alright, I'll be taking my leave now. Please excuse me!" Onodera hastily replied as he made his way out of Takano's apartment. Engulfed in silence for a few minutes, Takano sighed and ran his fingers through his hair. It had been bothering him for a while, but he could tell from last night, that Onodera had something else to say, but he couldn't pinpoint _what_ exactly, so Takano decided to drop it for now. But he couldn't help the irritating feeling of curiosity overwhelm inside of him.

_It's really pissing me off…_

* * *

_Dammit I got swept away again!_ Onodera cursed silently as he stomped into his apartment, unceremoniously dropping his bag in a random spot before walking into the bedroom to plop himself down on it. Taking a moment to calm down, Onodera turned his head to the side and looked at the wall in deep thought.

_Maybe I should tell Takano-san about…yesterday in the hospital…that I'll…take over…_ Sitting up, Onodera glanced down at the bed sheets and continued to think on about yesterday. The brunette had a slight feeling that Takano might try and do something about it, but it would be futile.

_I can't help it, nor can Takano-san. I mean…I'm the only son of a huge publishing company, so he should know himself that I wouldn't have any say in the matter. 'But you chose it within your own will.'_

Sighing softly, Onodera drew his lips to a thin line, and gripped the bed sheets beneath him tightly before jumping as he felt a vibration in his pocket. Pulling out his phone, he found that he had one unread message. _From An-chan._ Opening the message, his eyes scanned over the screen.

_Ricchan, I've heard the news! Congratulations for taking over! And I guess…I'm kind of happy about the engagement too. I'm sure Onodera-sama must've already told you._

"What?" Onodera furrowed his eyebrows as he continued to read on.

_But…what about your high school love? That night at the hospital, you told me you loved him, so I thought that you might have already dissolved the engagement._

"Eh?" Eyes widening, Onodera began to think back through the days, hoping that what was happening wasn't what he thought was happening.

_"…I don't think I should've let that slipped out. If you don't know, then it's probably because your parents might tell you later."_

" _I know it's not the time to mention something like this, but are you ever willing to marry An-chan?"_

"Oh god…" Onodera dropped his phone in shock, coming to realisation. Stomach churning, heart beating rapidly.

"Mother's already confirmed the marriage."


	8. Calm before the storm

"…" Onodera's thoughts flew rapidly through his head, panic having washed over.

_She can't be serious, I told her that I would take over, not marry An-chan!_ The brunette hastily took his phone back and dialled his mother, but it was only redirected to voicemail. Checking his bedside clock, Onodera cursed inwardly.

_Shit! I can't deal with this right now! I need to leave for work!_ Sending a quick text to his mother, he stood up from the bed and brushed his hair before picking a clean shirt and changed, leaving yesterday's jeans on. Grabbing an energy drink from the fridge, Onodera took his bag and exited his apartment, only to be greeted with two people on his left who seemed to be in their own world.

"Stop pressing me about it goddammit!" Misako yelled out.

"I'm just worried about you, is that a bad thing?" Takano drawled out.

_Worried?_ The brunette aimed his gaze somewhere else as he tried to slink past them, only to get the male to aim his gaze towards Onodera.

"Did you eat properly? Onodera?"

"E-eh?" Looking over his shoulder, Onodera saw Takano looking at him with his head slightly tilted as Misako was looking away, a hint of annoyance across her face.

"I asked you, did you eat properly? But I think I already have that question answered since you're holding an energy drink in your hand." Takano made a 'tch' sound, causing Onodera to flush slightly and turn on his heel to walk towards the elevator.

"You don't have to worry about it Takano-san—"

"I already told you I would be taking over your meals, so you should've stayed in my apartment so you could've grabbed a small breakfast, at least."

"Eh? Taking over his meals?" Misako inquired as all of them moved inside the elevator.

"Of course, this guy here," Takano pointed a thumb to Onodera. "Collapsed from malnutrition cause he gave himself extra work. What an idiot."

"You do realise I'm here right?!" Onodera fumed and glared at Takano.

"I know, but I don't really care."

"You…!"

* * *

The whole department of Emerald was in complete turmoil. The third day of Hell Week was one of dread. All the editors knew that the days onwards will be all nighters at the rate they were going. However, Takano didn't seem perturbed by it, but Onodera and Misako were a different story.

"What…happened…?" Misako trailed off while the brunette shivered involuntarily and sat down in his seat and picked up the phone.

"Our department is going through Hell Week, where the deadlines for our authors are almost near and during we have to collect all the manuscripts, do proofings, typesetting, and so forth, then send it off to the printers to get it published." Onodera explained.

"T-Then the c-cycle starts over a-…a-again…" Kisa groaned from his seat.

"And that's how you make a book in twenty days." Takano added in before moving to his seat.

"But you aren't ready to take care of an author yet, so I'll just let you observe today. I need to ring up my authors anyway." The raven spoke once more before holding the telephone receiver to his ear. Finishing up with one of his authors, Onodera glanced over to Takano and Misako.

… _Just what is their relation exactly? I know that they went to college together, but that night when Takano-san found out that Takashi-san cracked…he looked like he really cared for her…_ Frowning, Onodera aimed his gaze back to the manuscript on his desk.

_Just what did they do together when they were in college?_

_They couldn't possibly be dating before…right?_

Onodera sighed. _Who am I to say that…I don't even know what happened to him that time…_

_Ring ring!_

"A-ah!" Onodera stood up abruptly, causing everyone to look at him.

"My phone is ringing, I won't be long, sorry!" Onodera rushed out. Takano sighed and put down the phone receiver.

"Ah…R-Ricchan's so p-popular with the ladies…!" Kisa shakily pointed out.

"Ehh? Are you… _-yawn-_ …saying Onodera-kun's a playboy?" Mino tiredly asked.

"Well why e-else does Ricchan have so many phone c-calls during work?" Kisa half heartedly laughed as he dragged his pen across his notes. Misako frowned slightly and looked over to Takano, who seemed slightly troubled. The raven woman sighed and sat down, bumping her leg with Takano's. Catching his attention, the woman smiled softly, nodding in reassurance. With a small upturn of his lips, Takano gave back the smile before showing an edited manuscript to the woman.

" _Ricchan?"_

"A-An-chan, sorry, I don't have long, what is it that you wanted to call me about?"

" _It's nothing, just the engagement and all. Your mother seems really content now. It's been a long time since she was like that. Why did you accept it though?"_ Onodera's heart leapt in his throat.

"I-I…I never accepted it."

" _E-eh?"_

"I never accepted the engagement An-chan. It was all Mother's doing. I'm really sorry that she brought your hopes up." The brunette bit his lip.

He knew he said too much. He knew he was being cruel to the poor girl, but there wasn't any choice.

"… _I see…I guess I was a little suspicious when your mother called up my mother…I feel a bit stupid now! Ahaha!"_ Frowning, Onodera drew his lips to a thin line. He knew that was An's fake laugh. He always knew it ever since they were kids, and he felt himself drowning in regret.

"An, don't give me that. You know that I hate it when you hide your feelings like that."

" _W-well what am I supposed to do R-Ritsu?"_ His eyes widened. He definitely heard her voice crack. _No no no An don't cry please._

"No An-chan I'm sorry." Onodera bit his lip when he heard hiccups and sniffling on the other side of the phone.

" _It's fine, really."_ An gave a small chuckle, however the brunette wasn't convinced in the least, but he had to finish everything off. If he couldn't do this one thing then how would he even try to get a chance at getting back the person he loved from high schoo—

—wait, what was he even saying?

"An-chan…I'm sorry, I really can't marry you. A-and I'll tell Mother about my decision as well. I know I've misled you for so long, and I-I'm…I'm really sorry." He cursed to himself that he couldn't express his apologies in any other way, but he made sure that his tone made his decision final.

" _I-It's alright Ricchan, like I said, do your best with Mr. Next-Door Neighbour. It's embarrassing that I got a little excited over something that you already rejected goodness knows how many times."_ Onodera sighed, wondering how An could be so forgiving at times.

"An…thank you, so much. For everything, really." The brunette shuffled awkwardly in his spot.

" _It's nothing Ricchan, I love you, so I want the best for you."_ Drawing his lips to a thin line, Onodera awkwardly ended up the call with a small goodbye. Finally getting over that call, he dialled another number and placed his phone to his ear. He knew he was cutting it close, having personal phone calls during work, but it couldn't wait, he said to himself. He waited for a few seconds until the call got through.

" _Hello? Ritsu? Why are you callin-"_

"Why did you dump the engagement on me?!"

" _Engagement? Ah yes…have you decided on that too?"_

"Mother!" Onodera immediately lowered his voice, wary of the workers around him now.

"I'm not marrying An-chan!"

" _Why not?"_

"Because-!"

" _She's a wonderful woman Ritsu, I can't fathom why would you refuse such a beautiful girl like her."_

"I know she's wonderful and she's been nothing but completely nice to me, but I just can't marry her-"

" _Oh please stop with that!"_ Onodera quieted his protests. _"I can't rest in peace if I don't know whether my only son will be in safe hands!"_ Sighing softly, Onodera ran a hand through his hair as he tried to retort back.

"M-Mother, I'm fine, I don't need—"

" _Obviously you're not! I might not see you all the time, but when I do, you're always deeply troubled by something. Which was why I allowed you to study abroad, because that was the first time you ever asked us of something, and I thought that it would make you happy, but you only returned fully jaded!"_ Onodera remained silent, was he really that easy to read back then? No wait, was he still readable up until now?

Takano flashed through his mind. Flushing, he thought that it might be a little true.

"Mother…"

" _I can't help but be worried sick about what's causing my baby pain, and I don't want to see you like this, and so I arranged a marriage with An, because she was the only one you smiled around, talked to hours on end with countless topics and cared about her as she did for you!"_

"I-I've never seen her anything more as a friend!"

" _It's because you are in denial Ritsu. You might realise soon that your denial was only just a defence mechanism to refuse your love for An-chan, but it's there."_ She was right on denial being used as a defence mechanism, but she got the person wrong.

"Mother, I'm serious. I don't love An-chan in that way, and I don't think I'll ever be." Onodera sighed. He just wanted everything to be done and over with, but his mother was truly adamant.

" _Then do you have another love interest?"_ The brunette blushed up to his ears.

"N-No! Ah…I mean…well…" He chewed on his bottom lip nervously, not wanting to admit to his mother – even himself – that he was slowly falling in love with a certain raven.

" _Ritsu, all I want is for you to be secure with a family by your side. Like I said, we can't stay here forever. I'll be like this until I know that you're in safe hands."_

"M-Mother, I'll be fine. Please, just don't go on with this engagement anymore. I don't want to say it…but it's…fruitless. I don't love An-chan the way you think I do. Please don't force me into this." Silence entered afterwards. Onodera blinked, looking at his phone wondering if his mother had hung up, but their call was still ongoing.

"… _alright Ritsu. I'll accept your decision." Eh?_ The brunette thought their conversation may have continued on for a bit longer, but he wondered,

_Could it be…that Mother actually wants me to find someone I actually love on my own terms?_

" _28_ _th_ _of May, how does that sound?"_ The brunette tilted his head.

"F-For what…?"

" _I'll formally announce your dissolvent of the engagement in the presence of An-chan's parents on the 28_ _th_ _of May. Is that alright with your schedule?"_ Onodera counted the days. _It's May 19_ _th_ _at the moment, and we're currently in the middle of Hell Week, and since it's a meeting with my parents, I could grab at least half a day off the week after from the higher-ups, so it won't be a problem._

"Y-Yeah, I think so."

" _Then it's settled, your engagement will be dissolved on that day."_ He frowned slightly. Onodera wasn't upset about the outcome; it was only just how compliant his mother was about the whole situation. It made him slightly worry about his father's reaction to everything. Waking up and finding out that his only son had rejected the idea of marrying the most wonderful woman he could ever ask for. He could easily have another heart attack if they weren't careful on their wording.

"Mother…thank you." He bowed his head low.

" _Anything for my son, I hope this makes you happy."_ The tone in that statement wasn't biting at all; instead it was expressed into more of a wish than anything else.

"It's does, really. It takes a load off my mind." Onodera smiled softly.

" _I'm glad then, I'll see you again soon, love you."_

"Love you too. Bye." And with that, he hung up. Sighing in relief, the brunette leant against the wall and ran a hand through his hair. _Man that was the most exhausting conversation I've had in my entire life._ Placing his phone back into his pocket, he walked back into Emerald, a bounce in his step.

"O-oh Ricchan…I see like you're a h-happy man at the moment…" Kisa rasped, earning a soft chuckle from Onodera, causing everyone to snap out of their zombie selves and look at him in awe. They had expected a flustered, blushing mess of some sort, but this was new.

"Onodera-kun, you sure you don't have a fever?" Mino inquired, his smile nowhere to be found.

"Ah, it's nothing Mino-san." The brunette spoke before he gave a small smile to the chibi raven as he slid back down into his seat. The editor-in-chief continued to stare at Onodera, thinking that maybe if he stared at him long enough, the answers would somehow come out from his actions.

"Takano-san…Takano-san…Saga-san…Saga-san…" Misako droned, bored as she leant on her hand. _Jeez this guy can't keep his eyes off Onodera-san._

"Takano, Saga, _Masa-chan_ , Masamune." No answer.

"Oi dickface." Misako called as she gave a rather painful blow to his foot.

"Motherfuc-" Takano grimaced, his leg hitting his desk, receiving glances from other workers.

"W-What's wrong b-boss?" Kisa chuckled tiredly while Onodera gave a look to confusion.

"Oh no, it's nothing." Misako smiled innocently as Takano glared in return.

"The hell was that for?" The raven man muttered as he regained his poker face and flipped through the pages of the edited manuscript in his hand.

"I came here to learn, not spectating when you go gaga over Onodera-san." Takano halted in his actions, before resuming once more unperturbed. The woman only smiled at this.

"Caught cha~" Misako sang as she glanced at the edits Takano made throughout the manuscript.

"Shut up and look at this." Takano pointed towards a correction.

* * *

"G-Good work today…" Kisa mumbled as he left the editing department with Mino. One by one everyone filed out, leaving Onodera, Misako and Takano. As they continuously worked – minus Misako, who was only waiting for Takano – throughout the night, Takano groaned softly before pulling out some keys. Onodera perked his head up and looked at the two.

"I don't think I'll make it back early tonight, you go home without me." The woman nodded, taking the keys and twirling it around her finger.

"Sure thing. Also, I feel like cooking today. I'll make something and leave some for you when you get home, how does that sound?"

"Sure, I'm dying for some good food that isn't my own."

"Wow, complimenting yourself now are we?" Misako scoffed as she walked past the brunette.

"I have bragging rights since you were oh-so happy about having someone cooking _gourmet-style_ food for you." Takano smirked.

"Shut up. It was in the heat of the moment because I was really hungry." The woman laughed as she turned to Onodera.

"Onodera-san, how about if I make some for you as well?" The brunette jolted up, not used to being asked anything so personal by someone that you haven't known for a long time.

"Eh? Ah…um…n-no thanks, I think I'll pass-"

"Nonsense Onodera-san, I want to."

"Take advantage Onodera, it's a home-cooked meal, unlike your convenience-store lunches and dinners you always have."

"Ta-Takano-san!" Onodera flushed as he narrowed his eyes at the smirking editor-in-chief. The raven woman could only giggle.

"Ahaha, come on Onodera-san, you heard Masamune, I'll treat you." She smiled as she wrapped a scarf around her neck.

"W-well…I suppose I'll indulge…" Onodera replied bashfully, rubbing the back of his neck.

"A dinner for three then." Misako clapped her hands and gave a small wave.

"I'll see you both soon. Bye~" Misako exited the department. Onodera sighed and leant his head on his desk.

"She's a bit of a handful, so it's better if you just go with the flow. " Takano smiled softly, leaning back on his seat. The brunette couldn't help but think that Misako reminded him as a bit of his mother.

"Yeah, it's not anything new anyway…" Onodera mumbled, before sitting up straight.

"A-Ah! Takano-san." The brunette suddenly remembered the conversation he had shared in the afternoon with his mother.

"What?" Takano asked as he sat up and shuffled his manuscripts into his workbag. Onodera stood up abruptly from his desk and fiddled wit the sleeves of his shirt. _Should I tell him? Wait, why should I? This is only a family matter!_ Onodera glanced as Takano continued to pack away. Onodera aimed his eyes to the ground.

_But…he's been on edge whenever I mention An-chan or my mother…so I guess I should tell him…but I don't want to cause Takano-san any trouble. I might bring his hopes up…since it's already hard to tell him that I'll take over Onodera Shuppan._

"Onodera, this is the second time you've spaced out like this." His emerald eyes widened as he looked up at Takano. The raven's face was serious but with a hint of worry.

"You know…" Takano's features softened. "You can tell me what's wrong. It's bad to keep it bottled up." Onodera stood his ground as Takano walked up to ruffle his hair.

"I-It's…" The brunette looked down again, only for the raven's hand to move under and grip his chin gently to make the brunette look back up once more. Takano's gaze bore into him deeply, and Onodera couldn't stop the words that came out of his mouth in time.

"My engagement…is going to be formally dissolved next week."


	9. Whirling emotions

He thought he had misheard him.

"…what?" Takano dropped his hand to his side as he stared at Onodera in shock.

"M-my engagement…it's going to be dissolved." The brunette answered once more, unable to hold his gaze with the older any longer as he aimed his eyes towards the desks.

"…Onodera…" Takano spoke almost inaudibly, shock evident in his voice.

"I-I just wanted to tell you since you always acted weird whenever I brought up An-chan or Mother…so there you are." Onodera's cheeks slowly grew hotter with each word he said. He soon let out a surprised yelp when Takano yanked him towards him by his jumper and wrapped his arms around him.

"Takano-san!" The brunette tried to pry himself away from the older man's embrace, but to no avail, the raven kept his hold.

"You know…I always thought you'd leave me for her. Then…and now." Onodera's breath hitched.

"You guys knew each other really well, and then look at us." The brunette's eyes widened.

"I felt alone when I found out you had a fiancée while you were with me in high school…I thought…that couldn't be my Ritsu, the one who had confessed your feelings towards me, the one who couldn't keep a straight face when I was so close to you…because then…you would leave me…"

"...and you did. _For ten years._ " The brunette felt his lip tremble. If Takano continued to talk more, he would fall apart in his arms.

"P-please let me go—"

"Whenever I see her with you, or even if you just talk about her, I get mixed feelings. I'm jealous and I'm angry, but I can't help but feel sad and guilty when I realise how much she means to you, as if she was your source of happiness." Onodera bit his lip and felt Takano's arms tighten around him a bit.

"She seemed like she was the only one who could really understand you. She is a nice girl, in all honesty. You two were practically picture perfect. But where does that put me in relations to you?" Onodera squeezed his eyes shut, focusing on trying to push away from Takano, but even though he was successful, the raven only gripped his wrists and pushed him against the wall, holding his gaze with the younger's.

"Please, don't say anymore—"

"I want our relationship to work out. I want to be with you. I want all of you." The brunette balled his shaking hands into fists. Seeing Takano's pained expression, he tried to bring as much space between them by attempting to thrash his arms about.

"Stop talking!"

"Why aren't you letting me in?"

"Shut up!"

"Why can't I be the one?" Panting, Onodera's emerald orbs gazed into unreadable amber ones before letting his head fall, his bangs covering his eyes.

"W-why…?" Onodera spoke just above a whisper.

"Why what?"

"Why…are you so…persistent…in wanting to make me fall in love with you like that?" The brunette asked as he clenched his jaw.

"Because," The raven loosened his grip on Onodera's wrists as he continued. "You're the greatest thing that's ever happened to me." Onodera paused in shock before shivering as the raven moved his lips to his ear.

"And I can't bear to lose you again. So please…"

"Don't shut me out." He faced Takano once more and flinched slightly when the older tilted his chin up. Feeling warm lips press against his own, Onodera shivered as Takano's tongue ran along his bottom lip. With reluctance, the brunette finally granted him permission, which left Takano to snake his arms around Onodera's waist, pulling him closer and explored every inch of the brunette's mouth, before settling down on gently swirling his tongue around the younger's, swallowing the moan that came with it.

Staying like that for a while, Onodera regained his senses when the raven decided to move his hands up and underneath his shirt. Pushing Takano away by the shoulders, the brunette failed to maintain his gaze with the older, and settled down with resting his head against the raven's shoulder, gripping his arms.

"I…never wanted to shut you out." The raven stood there, waiting for the younger man to continue.

"I-It's…just that…I can't…convey my feelings properly…that's why people end up getting the wrong idea." He felt his cheeks redden once more and slowly backed away from Takano.

"Then what idea do you want me to get exactly?" Takano asked softly. Onodera gripped the sides of his jeans as he kept his gaze low.

"I…don't know…"

"Are you sure?" Onodera didn't answer as he saw Takano slowly advance towards him.

"Could it be that…you're finally accepting my feelings?" Feeling the raven tower over him, he quietly let out a breath that he didn't know he held in.

"…maybe…"

"Maybe?" Onodera shivered as Takano's breath tingled his ear. Heart thumping loudly, he swallowed the oncoming lump in his throat and nodded.

"Maybe…that could be true…"

"Do you really mean that?" Another slow nod was received in return before Takano bumped his forehead with the brunette's, causing the emerald-eyed man to look up into soft amber orbs. Onodera lowered his eyelids as Takano pressed a chaste kiss to his lips. Pulling away, Onodera could see an expression of relief and happiness washing over the older man's face.

_How long has he been waiting for me…?_

"Ritsu…say my name."

"H-huh?" The brunette flushed crimson at the sudden request, but he couldn't run as he suddenly found Takano's arms on either side of his head, as well as one leg wedged in between his own, effectively rendering him unable to escape.

"Why?" He protested, silently wishing if he could shift through the walls right this minute.

"Because, it's don't you think it's weird to call the person you love by their last name?" Onodera's eyes darted everywhere except Takano as his reddened cheeks ceased to fade.

"B-But that's-!"

"It's very simple to pronounce my name." The raven smiled at the brunette.

"That's not what I meant!" The brunette retorted as he watched Takano take ahold of his hands and place gentle kisses in the wrist area.

"Then what is it… _Ritsu_?" Onodera shivered at both the way Takano called out his name and also when he flicked his tongue out to press it against the pulse point on the brunette's wrist.

"I-It's…embarrassing…" The younger man trailed off. After a while Takano sighed and flicked his forehead.

"Ow!"

"You idiot, after doing _those things_ in the bedroom, shower and even the car—"

"Shut up!"

"—calling me by my first name is considered embarrassing to you?"

"W-well I'm just not used to it!" Another sigh.

"Fine, we'll do something that you're used to then and by _used to_ …I mean…" Takano muttered in a low voice. Onodera blinked before blushing profusely. _No way, he can't possibly mean 'that'! No way!_

"I want you to say, 'Saga-senpai, I love you!' in that cute voice of yours and pucker your lips for me." … _nevermind._

"BASTARD!" Onodera growled as he glared at Takano.

"Just kidding." Takano replied as he ruffled his subordinate's hair, a soft smile played on his lips. "I know you love me." The brunette flushed red with embarrassment and anger, unable to deny his heart was racing from Takano's smile.

"Quit it with the high and mighty act will you?!"

"You love it." If Onodera had any more protests, they would have already died down in his throat by another passionate kiss from the raven.

* * *

"Ehh~ You guys are so late! What now?" Misako was standing in front of the genkan, the sleeves of her jumper rolled up along with a simple black apron on her front. She had her hair tied up as she gave an exasperated sigh.

"We had a meaningful conversation." Takano smirked at Onodera who seemed quite interested in his shoes at the moment.

"Meaningful? About what? The pride of a shoujo manga editor or something? _Lame~_ " The woman chuckled as she beckoned the two men inside.

"Sorry, excuse me for a bit. I need to use the bathroom." Onodera muttered as he left the hallway, leaving the two ravens to walk in the kitchen.

"So what did you guys really talk about? You seem like one happy man at the moment." Misako laughed as she gently pinched Takano's cheeks, lightly tugging to try and form a smile across the man's lips. The raven man rolled his eyes and brushed the woman's hands away as he sat down in front of the kitchen counter.

"Just some things." Takano shrugged as he placed his chin in his hand.

"Sure you did lover boy." Misako teased as she leant against the counter. "Y'know…I've kinda noticed this before but…" Misako aimed her eyes towards the counter. "Onodera-san's appearance…sounds a lot like what you described of your high school lover." Takano furrowed his eyebrows in confusion. He thought for a minute before blinking in realisation.

"Ah…about that Misako…"

"Sorry for keeping you waiting." Turning their gazes to the brunette, Onodera had entered the kitchen and smiled sheepishly at the woman, who smiled in return.

"Oh don't worry that's quite alright! I'm still dishing up the food." Misako explained as she put out bowls.

"I'll give you a hand Misako." Takano offered as he stood up.

"Ah, is there anything I could do?" Onodera asked.

"Nonsense Onodera-san! You're the guest here, so just sit back and relax!" Misako smiled as she passed a bowl over to Takano. The brunette chuckled and nodded as he sat down on the seat Takano previously occupied.

"That was pretty good Misako, where'd you find the time to make this?" Takano complimented as he placed all of the dishes into the sink.

"A woman can have her free time as she pleases." The woman smiled as she set to washing the dishes.

"Give me the recipe, I want to know how to make it." Onodera awkwardly sat at the counter, playing around with his fingers as he listened to the ravens' conversation.

"Hmm…"

"What?" The raven-haired man asked, glancing down at the younger. Misako grinned at the raven mischievously and stood on her toes to whisper in Takano's ear.

"You want to cook it for your _lover_ don't you? So cheesy~" Onodera blinked in surprise when Takano gently pushed Misako away and averted her gaze.

"Shush you." Takano muttered under his breath as he dried up the plates. The women only laughed in return. However Onodera didn't miss the small smile spread across Takano's lips, throwing the brunette into confusion. _Their interaction…doesn't really seem like one that two close colleagues would share. Why is Takano-san being so nice to Takashi-san?_ Onodera blinked and blushed slightly.

_Wait, just what am I thinking? I sound so damn jealous! Which I'm not! It's just Takano-san's weird expressions that are making me feel like this!_

The emerald-eyed man looked up once more and watched as the raven woman flicked some water onto Takano's face, the latter retaliating with a small shove at the hip. The two shared a small laugh before continuing on with the dishes. Unable to ignore the slight tightening feeling in his chest, Onodera kept his head low and bit his lip.

_Just what is their relationship?_


	10. Overflowing thoughts

Today was Misako's last day staying over at Takano's place, however in that morning Misako was informed that she should stay back for a little longer. So instead of going back to her apartment on Sunday, she fixed up her bags over the course of two days, which was convenient since all of the editors were in their final days of Hell Week.

Tuesday afternoon as Misako was gathering up the rest of her items, Takano passed by and offered to help but she had refused and continued on. With nothing else to do, Takano went over to Onodera's…well more like barged in without permission and saw how much of a dump the brunette's place was. Again.

"Well aren't you such a pampered little prince." The raven muttered as he threw a pile of the brunette's dirty clothes at Onodera's face.

"I was _planning_ on doing it! And you had to go and barge in—"

"If you call 'planning on doing it' as sitting on your ass correcting three manuscripts, you're hopeless." The raven deadpanned. The brunette grumbled under his breath as he picked up more of his scattered clothes and placed them into the basket to be taken down to the laundry room. He glared at the raven's back as he walked into the kitchen.

"Woooooww…it's a mess here too, amazing Onodera." _And_ who _exactly said I was the greatest thing that ever happened to them?_ The brunette thought bitterly before grimacing when he heard another groan.

"Ugh, I told you to stop buying those godforsaken energy drinks!" Takano emerged out with a box-full as he scowled at Onodera.

"Well I now only drink one a day! Be glad it's at least not ten drinks this time!"

"You drink _ten_?! Are you serious?!" The brunette winced a bit, suddenly thinking that maybe telling Takano that fact wasn't such a good idea.

"Geh! You know what? I'm gonna throw all of your food out and then we're gonna go grocery shopping."

"HAH?! No wait! Takano-san! I paid for that! Stop! It's a waste! HEY!"

* * *

 _'…why am I…?'_ Onodera thought exhaustedly as Takano dragged him through each aisle and dumped random items into the cart.

"Seriously, this is why we should start living together." Takano mumbled as he placed something else in the cart. Onodera jumped up in shock and turned his head swiftly to Takano.

"W-what?!" The brunette flushed immensely upon that request.

"What? Don't you think it'll be nice to wake up to some proper breakfast rather than that shitty stuff you call a meal?" Onodera felt a vein pop in his forehead. _THIS JERK._

"Besides, I want to make sure you're eating well, because when I found out you collapsed that day…I really did lose myself for a minute. I thought that was the fastest I've ever run in my life." Takano chuckled humourlessly as they passed by another aisle. Onodera watched the raven in awe, before he looked away, a slight blush adorning his cheeks.

"Fine…I'll change my eating habits from now on…" Takano turned around and gazed at Onodera, before giving a small smile and ruffled the younger's hair before continuing to move along. Onodera sighed and tried to will his blush away as he continued to follow the raven.

"What do you want for dinner?" Takano inquired.

"Eh?" The brunette tilted his head quizzically.

"Dinner. I said I'd make a meal for you each day, so what would you like?" _Are you still going on about that?_ The brunette sighed and looked away.

"I don't know…just whatever." Onodera didn't feel up to asking what he specifically wanted, instead, he kept on brooding about the course of events from yesterday. _I really don't get how my cancellation of the engagement changes my relationship with Takano-san. I mean…I just told him that I was dissolving my engagement because he wouldn't stop acting weird around me!_

' _Could it be that…you're finally accepting my feelings?'_

"…!" The brunette felt a blush creep up to his cheeks before he rubbed his face with his hand, trying to will his blush away.

"What are you thinking about?"

"Eh?" Onodera snapped his head up and turned to look at Takano.

"You're blushing, so I'm wondering what you're thinking about." The raven stated as he glanced over at Onodera. The brunette waved his hands in front of his face as he laughed nervously.

"O-oh nothing! It's just really hot in here you know, what with all the—"

"We're in the freezer section." The raven stated bluntly.

"…ah." Onodera mentally facepalmed himself. He looked back to see Takano smirking down at him.

"You were thinking of me, weren't you?" The brunette had his eyes wide open as he strode ahead of Takano with the trolley.

"No I wasn't! Stop being so full of yourself!"

"If someone else made you blush like that, I'd be really jealous you know, I'd probably make you blush even harder in front of everyone." At this, the brunette abruptly came to a stop and turned to look at Takano, stunned.

"A-Are you a _child_ or something?!" The raven only chuckled and shrugged as the two continued to buy more items.

* * *

"…woah…" Onodera trailed off as he looked around his apartment. This was the second time his apartment was completely clean ever since he moved in. Takano ran a hand through his hair and straightened up as he looked around the apartment.

"If I see it in a dump again, I'm hauling your ass to my place." The brunette snapped out of his daze and scowled at Takano.

"How about don't come into my apartment at all?!"

"I can't be very sure of that, since I've been here multiple times." Takano yawned and rested his hands at the back of his head.

"All of those times you barged in!" Onodera protested.

"More like you just didn't put up a proper fight. My kisses must be _that_ good." The raven smirked at Onodera.

"Don't say weird stuff like that! And with Takashi-san next door too!" The brunette pointed out.

"Oh, she knows~" Takano teased.

"She _WHAT_?!" The two slightly jumped up when a loud bang resonated throughout the whole apartment.

"That was…next door…wasn't it?" Onodera questioned Takano as he glanced at him. He blinked in surprise when he saw the look of shock and fear washed across the raven's face.

"Shit…" Takano rushed over to his apartment with Onodera following behind.

"Ow ow ow…" Misako clenched her jaw as she came into a sitting position beside the bath.

"Far out…that really hurt…" The woman sighed softly and wobbly tried to stand up.

"Misako?!" Takano rushed to the open door before carefully treading across the floor and lifting up the woman so she could stand.

"Why the hell didn't you tell me that you mopped the floor?" Misako sighed irritably as she limped beside Takano.

"Slipped off my mind, sorry." Takano murmured as they made their way out. Onodera looked at the woman worriedly as she sat back down on the floor.

"Takashi-san, are you alright?" Misako winced slightly but gave a reassuring smile to the brunette.

"Kinda…but I feel a bit dizzy, is all." Takano crouched down and tilted her chin up as he brushed her fringe away. Onodera stepped back and felt a tightening around his chest and quickly looked away from them. _Goddammit, now's not the time!_ The brunette frowned as he discreetly clenched the front of his shirt.

"There's a swelling on the side of your head. Where else did you get hurt?" Misako moved the raven's hand away as she rubbed her head slightly.

"I fell on my side…so…I remember hitting my knees…as well as my elbows…" Takano drew his lips to a thin line and cursed.

"Shit, I'm really sorry…" The woman sighed softly and smiled as she ruffled Takano's hair.

"Come on, don't be like that! Next time, just tell me these things so I can avoid them, ne? But it's not like I'll be coming back here anytime soon." Misako laughed. Takano smiled a bit in return.

"You're always welcome here you know. Here, stand up." Takano stood up and pulled her up as well.

"I'll go and grab an icepack for you. Onodera, can you take her to the lounge?" The brunette jumped a bit at the mention of his name and nodded at the retreating figure and turned to Misako who was slumped against the wall.

"Takashi-san, are you really alright? You seem a little out of it…" Onodera took her arm and moved it around his neck as they staggered to the lounge.

"No it's nothing…but damn this headache's so bothersome." Misako sighed as she sat back against the couch just when Takano walked in.

"How are you holding up?" The raven asked and watched as Onodera signalled that he was going to return back to his apartment. Takano frowned slightly as he noticed the change of demeanour in the brunette as he walked out of his line of sight.

"Just dizzy, is all." Misako replied. Takano sat down beside her and pressed the icepack to her forehead, and gave a quiet sigh as he noticed it relieved a bit of tension from Misako's body.

After a while the woman uttered out a 'sorry' as she laid back and closed her eyes. Takano tilted his head confusedly.

"Eh? What for?" At this, the woman gave a cheeky smile and cracked an eye open as she pinched her cousin's cheek and watched as he grimaced a little.

"Because~" She grinned. "I cockblocked ya didn't I?~" Takano sighed and pulled the icepack away from her forehead to press it against her neck.

"Uwah! C-cold!" Misako yelled as she snatched the icepack and threw it at the sighing male.

"And here I was thinking you were injured."

"I am!" She stated clearly and gestured to her bruised elbows.

"Says the woman who's already well enough to tease me." Takano raised an eyebrow at her.

"Okay, okay, I'll give you that, but my knees are killing me, so pass me the icepack will you?" The raven complied and passed the icepack to Misako before walking over to the kitchen and grabbing a few items and placing it in a bag.

"Mm? What are you doing Masamune?" Takano looked up at the mention of this name as he placed in a cooking book.

"I promised I'd make Onodera dinner tonight, so I'm just grabbing a few things from here that he might not have so I don't have to go back here." The woman blinked in surprise before smiling widely.

"That's so adorable of you! I've never seen you like this." Takano sighed at the compliment before leaving the bag at the table and walking over to the lounge to sit next to her and edit some manuscripts.

"Yeah, I never really thought I'd be the type to do that sort of thing…but I guess Onodera's the exception." Misako laughed a bit and leant her head back on the couch.

"I'm glad then, you're finally getting into a serious relationship." Takano glanced at her before rolling his eyes and slapping his hand on her knee.

"OW! That was uncalled for! I didn't even do anything!" Misako grimaced as she rubbed her knee before placing the icepack on it.

"It's just because you're being a dummy." The amber-eyed man replied. "Look, I'm gonna be alright, stop worrying about me. What happened in the past is in the past. I'm gonna be okay." Takano smiled softly and ruffled her hair. The woman sighed and scratched the back of her neck.

"I know…I'm just a tad bit too motherly aren't I?" Misako asked with a nervous laugh.

"Quite the contrary. I'm glad to have a cousin like you." Takano chuckled and stood up and stuffed a few manuscripts in the bag he placed the cooking book in.

"I'm gonna be going over now. Are you going out too?" The raven asked as he slung the bag over his shoulder. Misako nodded and stood up shakily.

"Yeah, I'm gonna head out to do some grocery, I need to stock up on food because I know I'll be lazy going grocery shopping once I go back home." Takano hummed and walked out to the hallway.

"Alright, just lock the door before you leave with my spare key, and be ready with your bags as well, cause I'll drive you home."

"Eh? Really?" Misako asked as she followed Takano out. The amber-eyed man turned to glance at the woman.

"Yeah, so you won't have to pay for the taxi fee." Misako smiled gratefully.

"Thanks cuz, you always know how to make me happy." Takano rolled his eyes before giving a final wave as he walked out of the apartment.

* * *

"Takano-san, I don't really see why you should go to all this trou—"

"This is for your sake, idiot. Now take it like a man." Onodera sighed and buried his face into his arms as Takano moved around his kitchen. At one point he wondered to himself why he still hasn't kicked out Takano yet, but he figured that the raven would become royally pissed and pay him back for that at work. The thought itself made the brunette cringe. Instead, he decided to actually follow on Takano's words and watch him quietly. After a while, Onodera began to slowly grow uncomfortable in the awkward atmosphere and darted his eyes on everything but Takano.

"Why are you so nervous?" The brunette jolted up at the sudden question as embarrassment began to settle in.

"W-What do you mean?"

"You're just…nervous. You're biting your lip, twiddling your thumbs, darting your eyes around the place besides me, am I really making you that uncomfortable?" Onodera tried to stare at Takano in the eyes, but it only lasted for a couple of seconds before he averted his gaze.

"See? You're doing it again?" The brunette scowled at Takano.

"Well it's not like I can help it! It's just an old habit unable to die down." Takano gave a hum in response before the conversation subsided once more and the tension began to seep in once more.

"Oh yeah, how's your old man doing?" Glancing back at Takano, he leant his head on his hand as he stared at the wall.

"Yeah, he's doing fine. He's gotten a few days off, so…"

"It's alright, you don't need to tell me all the details. I was just a little worried, because that night…it took you quite a while for you to stop crying. I thought it was a lot more serious than what I assumed." Onodera frowned and hid his eyes behind his hair. He wondered how Takano would react that he was planning on going back to Onodera Shuppan once more to take over. It was quite a large business, and he'd have to move into another apartment complex because the building was just that far from Marukawa. Wouldn't it mean that he'd be leaving again?

The brunette frowned, he couldn't just do it without a word, it would be cold, heartless even. Especially since he and Takano had started getting closer, even if he hated to admit it. He wanted to tell the raven, but his mind kept on saying that it'd only hurt more that way. But even just being around him, when they're alone and when he could just simply tell him, talk it out, actually _understand_ each other for once, he just _couldn't_ , and it'd only fill him up with regret and longing.

But he knew Takano's answer was simple. He would want him to stay. But the more he thought about it, the more he became uncertain.

"No…it's not that…it's just…" Takano lifted his head up and gazed at the brunette for a while, before letting out a large sigh before grasping Onodera's chin and turned his face around and tilted it up a little.

"Nevermind, I'm going into work topic again. Here, just try this." Takano lifted a spoon up and blinked when Onodera retracted from the raven with a glare and a noticeable blush on his cheeks.

"W-what the hell are you doing?" Takano rolled his eyes and pushed the spoon in front of Onodera's face.

"Try it, I'm just asking what your opinion is on it." The minutes ticked by as Takano waited, but it seemed that the brunette was still in a state of hesitation. The raven sighed irritably and grabbed Onodera's chin once more and thrust the spoon into his mouth.

"MMPH!" The brunette slapped Takano's hand away as he swallowed the liquid as he gasped out, "I could've choked on that!"

"It was only soup, suck it up rich kid." Onodera scowled at Takano and was about to protest but felt the words die back in his throat as Takano smiled genuinely and lifted up some more soup into the spoon.

_*badump*_

"Now come on, let me serve it to you properly." The raven spoke in a soft tone before gently grasping the younger's chin and slowly pressed the tip of the spoon to Onodera's lips.

_*badump*_

Reluctantly opening his mouth, Onodera took the time to taste the burst of flavours before swallowing it down.

"It's really nice Takano-san, where'd you get the recipe from?" The brunette asked, enjoying the aftertaste of the soup. Takano chuckled and turned off the stove.

"Family recipe. Do you like it?" The raven inquired as he leant against the counter.

"Yeah I do, it's really tasty!" Onodera glanced over at the pot in interest before looking back at Takano.

"Thanks, it's actually half-assed, cause we started talking and I got distracted, so it's not as nice as it would usually be." Takano smiled once more, and the brunette couldn't help but stare at the raven in awe.

_*badump*_

"When we were younger, Misako and I used to make it together, and we'd end up making a huge mess of the kitchen…" Onodera blinked once, before bowing his head as he chuckled.

"Is that so…?"

_What am I thinking?_

"Yeah, I remember we both got angry at the recipe and started throwing the ingredients around…"

"Honestly, I think she was the highlight of my childhood. She always knew how to brighten my day." Takano commented.

_He only smiled for Takashi-san…_

"…-nodera? Onodera?" The brunette jumped slightly as he felt as hand run through his hair.

"Ritsu, are you alright?"

_Why are you calling me that?_

"…yeah…my head's just…throbbing a little…"

"Will you be fine?" Takano asked, a hint of concern in his voice.

"I think it'll pass if I sleep it off." Before Takano could ask any more, Onodera abruptly stood from where he sat and began to walk to his bedroom.

"Thanks for cooking, I'll eat it when I wake up." The brunette muttered as he shut the door to his bedroom, leaving a confused raven.

"Oi, Onodera?" Takano moved towards the door and knocked on it. "What's wrong?"

Sliding down against the wall, Onodera sighed softly and rested his head against the wooden-carved door as he slowly slid his eyes shut.

_Maybe…maybe not telling you won't be so bad after all…_


	11. Struggle

Glancing up at the doorknob, I raise my hand to turn the latch just as Takano-san tried to open the door.

"Ritsu, unlock the door." I hear Takano-san say as he kept on knocking. Really, can't he just leave it alone?

"S-…sorry, but I'm getting tired…sorry for making you do all of this."

"Yeah, you should be." I felt my eye twitch. I resisted the urge to burst out at Takano-san and instead, buried my face into my knees and held my breath, hoping he would finally leave.

"You know…" Takano trailed off. "I've been noticing this for a short while now, but you seem to…how can I put it…act weirdly around Misako." I felt my body freeze up before slapping my hands over my face repeatedly. Ugh, come on! Get yourself together Ritsu! There. Is. No. Way. You. Can Be. Jealo—

"Do you have a problem with her? Did she do something to you?"

"N-no, she didn't do anything—"

"If she did, I'm gonna go and talk with her about it—"

"There's no need for that!" At this moment, I was standing up and looking towards the door.

"She didn't do anything wrong! It's just me…I'm just getting all these thoughts…going around in my head…about…her…" I said quietly, mostly to myself. An awkward silence soon settled in and I felt the heat rush to my face when I realised what I said aloud.

"No way, are you _jealous_?" I jolted up in shock and glared at the door.

"N-No! I'm not!" I retorted!

"You are actually jealous of her…" I could hear the surprised tone in his voice, making me even more embarrassed. Actually, scratch that, kinda pissed too.

"What the heck is that supposed to mean?! I said I wasn't! So stop jumping to conclusions!"

"I could say the same about you." I froze. Damn, that was a good comeback. Not that he knows anyway.

"W-whatever! I'm not jealous! You're just overthinking it!" I denied. Wait a minute, why am I getting so flustered! Gah! I'm _not_ jealous! Stop it Ritsu!

"Then open the door and tell me straight in the eye that you're not, then I'll leave." I gritted my teeth in annoyance. He seriously should just give up. Exasperated, I opened the door to see Takano-san with an impassive face. I frowned at him and sighed.

"I told you Takano-san, I'm not jealous."

"Liar." He then tilted my chin up and leaned closer to me. As he slowly inched closer to me, in instinct I pushed him away, leaving him surprised as my hands trembled in front of me. I looked down and moved my hands to my side.

"Ritsu…" I watched as he moved away from me, my heart still beating rapidly.

"Look, there's something I need to tell you—"

"P-Please leave!" I interrupted, pushing him towards the entryway of the apartment in haste, grabbing his items and pushing them into his arms.

"Hey!" He called out. I kept my gaze down as I forced him to place his shoes on. "Ritsu calm down!" I watched as everything that he was holding to fell to the floor as he grabbed my wrists.

"U-Uwah!" I yelped as my back collided with the door.

"Why are you pushing me away?" I kept my eyes anywhere else but Takano-san. "Look at me." He demanded, inching closer to my face. I let out a small noise as I squeezed my eyes shut, his breath ghosting over my lips. I attempted to turn my head but Takano-san caught me in a kiss before I could do anything. It was just a simple kiss, yet it easily took my breath away. _'How does he even do that?'_

Breaking apart, Takano-san stared into my eyes, as if the answers were all there for him.

"Other than Misako, something else is bothering you…am I right?" An inaudible gasp left my mouth before I began to struggle to move my wrists out of Takano-san's grip. But he held tight, so much that it actually hurt a little.

"T-Takano-san," I caved, hanging my head low. "P-Please…just leave me alone…give me some time…I-I need to think." I whispered softly, watching as he loosened his grip and rest his head on my shoulder. I shuddered as I felt his hands snake around my waist, pulling me into his embrace as he whispered in my ear.

"…what's wrong, Ritsu?" I remained quiet. It wasn't like I could easily tell him.

Yeah, fine…I'll admit I was sort of…jealous, about Takashi-san…but I honestly wanted to find a reason for not telling him about the company. If I got into a relationship with Takano-san _now_ , what would my family think? It would completely ruin my whole reputation as the son of Onodera Publishing and it would ruin Takano-san's reputation too. There's nothing great about two men as lovers except trouble. And in the end…do I really want to end up in a relationship at all? I sighed. In honesty, I feel that Takano-san was pushing this relationship onto me, but it's because of these lingering feelings that I wasn't able to push him away in the end.

"Ritsu…answer me…" I draw my lips to a thin line. I don't want to hurt anyone, not my family, not An…

…not even Takano-san. I just can't do that.

But either way my choices will affect him, whether I like it or not. If I told him that I'd be taking over, and we were to keep our relationship as it is right now…

…the rumours people make can even bring the greatest down.

That's why I can't bring myself to tell him. As much as he would us to get together, it would end up ruining everything we worked hard want for. And I asked so much from my parents already, I couldn't just face them and end up coming out with, "I'm in love with a man." I would be such a horrible son if I did.

But…even though there are dire consequences to this…I still told Takano-san about the dissolution. As if…I wanted to tell him it's okay…that he wouldn't have to worry so much about me…and that…maybe…just maybe…we could fall in lo—

I was drawn out of my thoughts as I hear a buzzing tone. _'Was it my phone?'_ I briefly thought, before I felt Takano-san withdraw from me to reach for his phone. _'Ah, it's his.'_ I thought as I watched him answer it.

"Hello? Yeah, I'll be there soon." I hear Takano-san say before he hangs up and grabs his car keys and wallet.

"Ritsu, I have to go and take Misako home, but we're gonna talk about this later." I sighed. Yeah right.

"I love you." I felt a bit of heat rise up to my cheeks at his statement. Ah goddammit! Quit it! I reprimand myself as I slap my cheeks. I heard the front door shut with a click and stood up.

I sighed. I know that when Takano-san says something that he'll do later, he'll stick to that word and do it. But I really don't want to be caught up in a discussion with him. I'm not even sure what might happen once I tell him. I'd say that he'll make me stay, but will he really? He knows my position as the only son of a famous publishing house, so…he might end up letting me go…

But shouldn't I be happy about that? I felt my chest tighten at the thought. But what if I didn't tell him? Another sigh came from my lips. Countless possibilities can happen if I went down that path. But, I know I can't just leave things the way they are. I need to talk it out with Takano-san, and my parents too. I need to settle this out, before…

Before I'll end up doing something I might regret.

To be honest, I felt tired of the whole thing. Standing up, I flopped onto my bed unceremoniously, blankly gazing out the window. I remembered the last time Takano-san and I had a conversation about me taking over the company.  


* * *

_\- flashback -_

_"Cut it out." Takano-san gripped my wrist tightly._

_"Huh?! Wait! What are you—" Was all I could say before he pushed me into my apartment._

_"Takano-sa-!" I let out a small grunt as he pinned me against the wall._

_"I'll never forgive you if you just run off on your own again." He kept an even gaze on me as I began to talk again._

_"What…?"_

_"I'm speaking to you, one man to another. I…am scared to death…of never being able to see you again."_

_\- flashback end -_  


* * *

Soon enough all of that resulted in him telling me that wouldn't let me leave, even if I tried to. But now it's different. My parents are now fully expecting me to take over, so it's too late to back out now. I slowly closed my eyes as sleep began to overtake me.

_'Tomorrow…I'll tell him everything…'_  


* * *

_\- next morning -_

*beep* *beep* *beep*

"Nngh…" I groaned softly as I opened my eyes. I felt really sluggish today. But then again, I felt sluggish every other day. I sighed as I turned off my alarm and stripped off of yesterday's clothes and chucked them somewhere onto the floor. Padding over to the closet, I changed in a matter of seconds before glancing at my bedroom. Ugh, I really don't wanna live like this anymore. But it's not like I can help it anyway. Grabbing an energy drink and my workbag, I swiftly left my apartment, knowing that there'd be an unmistaken presence right beside me.

But there wasn't.

"Haah, thank god, he left earlier." I sighed softly before walking over to the elevator. But now that I think about it, isn't it a little too early? I shrugged. Whatever, it's not my problem anyway.

First thing I noticed when I walked into the department – excepting the eerie shoujo aura, that's normal now – was everyone crowding around the end desk, but Takano-san wasn't there, but Takashi-san instead. I blinked in confusion. What were they talking about? I continued to watch from my desk as they chatted.

"Yeah, it came as a shock to me as well." Takashi-san laughed a little.

"Ehh~ What was your first reaction?" Kisa-san was asking.

"Well…just…nothing! I couldn't really comprehend it!" She smiled. In that moment I felt something strike me hard from the back of my head. I glared at whoever hit me, and it turned out that it was Takano-san.

"Oi, what's with the mothers' club?" Takano-san deadpanned as he glanced at the others who quickly moved back to their seats.

"I told them~" Takashi-san grinned. Takano-san made an unimpressed face at her and sighed.

"I did not let you come into my department to gossip, especially about us." Eh?

"Aww come on! It was noticeable though!" At this moment, Kisa-san decided to interrupt with a, "Yeah! Like seriously! Just look at you two!" I frowned. What's new about them? I stifled a sigh and slumped into my seat.

"It's still not a topic to be brought up at the workplace." Takano-san stated coolly and sat on his seat. He began to list down what should be done for today and soon enough we all began to become engrossed in our work, every now and again making small conversations on how we should suggest changes to the author but other than that, everything seemed pretty normal in the workplace.  


* * *

Soon enough it was already 3pm, with everyone still working hard as usual at their desks, well, minus Kisa-san and Hatori-san, who had to go to their author's house to discuss ideas. I yawned. Maybe I should go for a break in a few minutes and grab a coffee…

"Nah… I'm sure that it's about the same…" I heard someone murmur quietly. Lifting my head up, I saw Takano-san and Takashi-san talking softly among themselves. They also had their hands pressed together, as if they were trying to compare the size of their hands.

"I'm not sure though…what happens if it's not correct?" Takashi-san pouted. Takano-san only chuckled and squeezed her hand, letting his hand linger there for a while.

"I think I should be the one who's more worried about that." Takano-san muttered quietly, swiftly letting go of her hand soon after and going back to typing on the laptop. Takashi-san only smiled softly and leaned over to look at Takano-san's computer. I frowned before finally breaking off my gaze and standing up. What the hell was that all about? He says that he has to teach Takashi-san the ropes of editing, but instead he's only just having fun with her. I sighed. I really got to stop getting so worked up about whatever Takano-san decides to do. It's none of my business anyway.

"I'm going for a short break." I announced quietly.

"Keep it quick." Looking over to Takano-san, I opened my mouth to say something, however he was already absorbed in his current conversation with Takashi-san. I drew my lips to a thin line and walked out. Why is he putting up such a nice front for her? Is it just because they're colleagues, or what? I frowned as I entered the elevator. And just when I was about ready to tell him, I don't think I even have the same confidence anymore.

Upon exiting the elevator, my phone began to buzz. Pulling it out, I glanced at the screen. One new message. From…Mother? What now? Well, at least it's a message this time, I already have Takano-san chewing me out from the last personal call I had, which I'm pretty sure was from Haitani-san again. Opening the message, it said:

_'Hello Ritsu dear, are you well? An-chan just recently taught me how to message! So I'll be sending you emails if that's alright with you!'_

No. Not alright with me.

_'Anyways~ Just a small reminder about tonight, okay? Be sure to come over around dinnertime. An-chan's parents decided to come along as well to our place for tonight so we can dissolve it formally. Also…I don't want to make your decision harder but it seems that An-chan has been quiet for these past few days.'_

I frowned. I let An-chan down again.

_'Not that I'm trying to imply anything, but when you see her, please comfort her. She really did love the idea of being engaged to you, so as a last wish, make your time with her a happy one.'_

Sighing softly, I closed my phone and placed it in my pocket. I ended up hurting An-chan. What must she be thinking right now? Walking over to the vending machine, I inserted a coin and bought my can of coffee. I need to make a lot of things up to her. I want to see her truly happy again.


	12. Resolute

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Within a few chapters I ended up adding recommended BGMs to accompany each chapter  
> I'll make a note of them here but it's not necessary when it comes to reading ahah

Walking back into the department, I walked up to Takano-san to explain my departure and watched as he and Takashi-san both turned their head towards me.

"What is it?" Takano-san asked, while Takashi-san swiftly took Takano-san's laptop and shut it, avoiding my gaze. I blinked. What was that all about? Takano-san only sighed at her actions and turned back to me.

"Did you need something Onodera?" Takano-san leant on his hand and stared at me.

"A-ah, yes, well you see…I'm going to be leaving early today if that's okay with you. I'll catch up with my work tomorrow." I watched as both of them blinked in some sort of surprised manner. What? Did I do something wrong?

"Really?" Takashi-san asked. "What time?" Takano-san nodded in agreement and pulled off his glasses. Hey, what the heck? Why am I answering to her?

"Ah, around 7 or so…" I trailed off as I viewed them sharing glances at each other before looking back to me.

Seriously, what the heck?

I began to grow irritated but kept my casual demeanour as Takano-san opened his mouth to talk.

"Misako and I are leaving earlier than you, since we've got some things to attend to." ...and? What does this have to do with me? Everyone else turned their heads towards us.

"Eh? Takano-san, you're leaving early?" Kisa-san inquired. Takashi-san nodded and began to explain.

"Something personal came up, so I'm going with Ma-…Takano-san to help him out." I looked at Takano-san questioningly, and he returned my glance, mouthing a 'don't worry' to me. I frowned, why should I worry anyway? It's none of my business.

"So Hatori," He turned to Hatori-san. "You'll be taking charge once I'm gone, so you know the drill."

"Got it." Hatori-san nodded before returning to his work.

"And Onodera," I turned my attention back to Takano-san.

"I'll allow you to leave early, but may I ask on what account?" I faltered a bit. I had the fleeting thought of asking to talk to him in private, but instead, I said,

"Personal business, like you." I swallowed when Takano-san's gaze sharpened. He knew whenever I had personal business popping up, it either meant An-chan or my mother. Well he's correct on both assumptions.

"...alright, as long as you get your work done before 7 – or get most of it done, at least – you can go. I'll make sure Hatori checks it for you." I nodded, watching in a slightly flushed manner as his gaze continued to linger on me for a while before I broke the silence.

"Thank you." I said hastily before walking back to my desk. I sighed. I only asked to leave early, and then before you know it, other people had come into the conversation. Really, everyone should've just minded their own business...haah…damn, I sound like a prick. I guess I'm just really agitated about tonight. I shook my head to clear my thoughts, slapping my cheeks gently. Okay, just forget about it for now, I need to focus on work. Work, work, work!

* * *

"Okay, we're leaving now. Keep working as always." Takano-san announced as he stood up with Takashi-san. I looked over at Takashi-san, who was grinning ear to ear. I watched Takano-san sighed and flick her on the forehead.

"Oi, wipe off that smile will you? It's creeping me out." Takashi-san only continued to smile and punched Takano-san playfully on the arm.

"Come on Masamune~ I know you can't help but be giddy like a schoolgirl on the inside." Takano-san only sighed and pushed her out and exited as well. A strange silence settled over the workplace after that interaction, but it only lasted for a little while though since Hatori-san put us all back on track soon after. Then it wasn't long before I stood up and started packing my things away as well.

"I guess I'll be leaving now." I announced. Hatori-san looked up from his laptop and nodded.

"Okay, if you have anything to be checked just direct it to me for the time being until Takano-san returns." Nodding in understanding, I grabbed my workbag and my coat before walking out of the department. Entering the elevator, I received a text from my mother.

' _Hi Ritsu dear, just to let you know An-chan and her parents have arrived, so be sure to get here soon.'_

I sighed, getting the feeling that Mother will send me obvious notifications from now on. Ugh, better get to the mansion fast then.

Upon exiting Marukawa, I walked down the street, passing by many stores. Maybe I should bring a small cake along, as apologies. No wait, that's just rubbing salt into the wound! Ah, but I might be rude if I didn't come along with anything. Maybe I'll just spend some time with An. No, I might just end up hurting her further…and it's seems that asking them to stay over for one night is out of the question…

I let out a breath. Guess buying a present is better than anything. I began to look around at the many stores, hoping one of them would catch my interest. But knowing me, I might end up going into a bakery or small gift store. Ugh, I'm really horrible at this sort of thing. As I continued to brainstorm what I should buy, I drew to a stop at a certain store. Just across the road was a pretty high-class store, and was very well presentable. But that wasn't what caught my eye. Was that…?

Yes it was.

Takano-san and Takashi-san.

What are they doing there? Is this the 'personal business' they were talking about? Doesn't seem like it. I stared quietly, watching as Takashi-san jumped and wrapped her arms around Takano-san, which he accepted with a smile. I blinked in shock. The sight made my chest ache, but I couldn't tear my gaze away.

They laughed and smiled happily with each other, Takashi-san crying – seemed like tears of happiness with the way that smile looked like as if it was permanently there – and Takano-san gazing at her softly as he ruffled her hair. I swallowed heavily, watching as Takano-san had pulled out something. What's that? Suddenly, my eyes widened.

_What?_

I felt my heart leap in my throat, my chest constricting so painfully that I could believe I was actually suffocating even though I seemed perfectly fine. I grit my teeth and fled on my heel, finally breaking my gaze from them.

I ran. I didn't care.

I didn't want to think anymore. So I ran.

It hurts. So much.

But I didn't know whether it was from the exertion I was putting in running…

Or from the scene that had unfolded before me _._

* * *

"Oh Ritsu dear! How are you?" My mother greeted me in the doorway. It's funny, she still looks so happy even though I look so dishelved and out of place that it could even be brought up for questioning.

"Hi Mother." I smiled, walking in and taking off my shoes. I watched as Ayumi came running up to me, panting and wagging her tail excitedly, but that was short-lived as she slowed down in front of me. She began to whine softly and stare me down with her brown orbs. I swallowed heavily. Of course, she and I were really close friends in our childhood, she would know when something's wrong. But nevertheless I knelt down and scratched her ears.

"Come on dear, everyone's waiting for you." My mother looked down at me with a reassuring smile. I looked up at her. She didn't know how much I needed to see that smile. I smiled back, standing up and making my way into the lounge. I saw my father sitting down on one of the sofas and looked across to see An-chan's parents on the sofa opposite of us. I sat across from them and I saw that An-chan was sitting on the couch as well, smiling happily. Now that I think about it, everyone seems…too happy…

"Dearest," My mother placed her hands on my shoulders. "I haven't told them yet, because I thought it would be more formal if you told them personally." Ah, Mother didn't tell them, no wonder. I looked across from them, having finally lost all reason. Looks like they're gonna get a hell of a shock then.

"I would like to informally propose to Kohinata An, to be my dearest wife and that we live out the rest of our days together." I smile.

Soon after, everything passed by in a blur.

My parents are thoroughly perplexed, An-chan's parents are jumping in happiness and of course, An-chan, sitting there staring me down in confusion and worry. I only laugh and smile, throwing my parents and An-chan into more puzzlement. I remember vaguely offering An-chan and her parents to stay over for the night, allowing my parents to lead them away as I led An-chan into a large bedroom.

"Ricchan." I stop halfway through my happy chatter and look at her.

"Yes An? Is something the matter?" I gaze softly at her. She seems disappointed.

"I could say the same thing to you." In a flash, she moves towards me, her hands on my face, looking into my eyes, as if searching for something.

"An…what's up with you?" I laugh softly, brushing some hair from her face. She slaps my hand away, looking at me with worry.

"What's wrong with _you_?! First dropping the '-chan' from my name, and now all these loving gestures…something changed in you." Changed? Who knows, I don't care anymore.

"I don't think it really matters, we're getting married in a few months anyway An." I wrap my arms around her and rest my head on her shoulder, closing my eyes.

"…did something…happenwith Mr. Next-Door Neighbour?" I snap my eyes open, before pulling An-chan tightly into my embrace, keeping her there.

No.

I don't want to remember.

Please…

"Ricchan…" I felt her hands gently run down my back, my lips trembling slightly. No. Not now, I can't lose my composure, I can't break down in front of her.

"What happened?" She whispered quietly, almost solemnly. That's when it happened.

I let out a shaky breath as tears began to run down my cheeks at a rapid pace. The familiar pain in my chest, it was the  _exact same pain_ from 10 years ago. I grit my teeth as I let out a small sob.

No. I don't want to remember.

"An-chan…An-chan…" We both collapsed to the ground, my weight finally having an affect on her as I cried in her shoulder. I gripped the fabric of her cardigan as I let my breathing come out in shallow breaths. It hurts. So much that it's suffocating me.

The pain that's ripping through me, oh so slowly…tantalising even, as if it's forcing me to come to terms with reality, realisation laughing at my face. I felt complete humiliation wash over me, the heaviness on my heart coming in at full force, and yet, I still tremble and shake as if I was a small feather. I sobbed as I tried to regain composure, but like 10 years ago, I couldn't pick myself up again.

_No…_

"Ritsu…" She murmured softly, her small voice trembled as well.

"T-That bastard An, I-I hate him." I inhaled shakily, my whole body shaking to the core.

_I don't want to…_

"H-He s-said he couldn't b-bear to l-lose me…a-and he s-seems to be doing just fucking fine and peachy without me." I began to gain my voice back, wiping my eyes.

_I want to push it away…forget it all…_

"Ritsu…I don't understand what you're talking about."

"That bastard An! H-He…h-…he…"

 

 

_**I don't want to remember.** _

 

 

"He gave her a ring! He fucking _proposed_ to her!"

 

 

* * *

 

 

_Senpai..._

 

_We are going out...right?_

 

_Huh?_

 

_Because, Senpai, you never say anything..._

_Saga-senpai, do you..._

 

_...do you love me?_

 

 

* * *

 

 

Fool me once, shame on you.

Fool me twice, shame on me.

But this time, I swear on my life, from this day, that I, Onodera Ritsu, will  _never_ , _ever_ , fall in love with you again, Takano Masamune.

First loves never did last anyway.


	13. Determination

_~ flashback ~_

"Ready to go?" Takano asked as he slipped on his coat. Misako lifted up her bags onto her shoulders and nodded. "Yep!"

The older man watched her quietly before holding out his hand. "Give me some of your bags." Misako blinked before smiling.

"No no no! It's fine, really." She replied as she waved her hands in front of her. Takano gave her an unimpressed look before snatching her bags off of her.

"H-Hey!" Misako pouted as she followed Takano out into the hallway and into the elevator. "I said I would carry it!"

"And I said to give me some of it, it's common courtesy. When someone offers, just indulge." Misako sighed and rolled her eyes.

"Never knew that you could be such a  _wonderful_  gentleman." She muttered sarcastically.

"You could say I've grown up." Takano murmured as the elevator descended.

"Ha! Last time I've heard that I remember that some girls had given you a bento – and don't think I didn't forget what you did to it afterwards!" Takano only sighed.

"You know, Yokozawa said the same thing once."

"Well duh, both of us thought that was a really dick move you know."

"Well they pissed me off." The older man's eyebrow twitched slightly in irritation as the elevator came to a stop and they exited out into the underground parking area. Takano unlocked the car and placed Misako's bags in while the woman stepped into the passenger seat. Takano closed the back before sliding into the driver's seat. He drove out onto the road before rolling down both his and Misako's window. "So you said just drive to Marukawa?"

"Yeah, and then I'll give you the directions." Takano nodded as he continued to drive. "It's getting warmer again, isn't it?" He murmured.

"Mm, yeah." Misako looked outside as she watched the wind blow the tree branches around.

"Ah, that's right, your birthday's soon, yeah?" Misako blinked before turning to look at the other. "You…"

"Of course I remember. I wouldn't forget my own cousin's birthday." The woman smiled softly before looking out once more. "Yeah, my birthday's soon."

"What do you want?" Misako blinked before shrugging. "Nothing, I guess."

"Do you want some books?" Misako played with the thought for a few minutes, before shaking her head.

"I'm fine, got a lot of books anyway."

"Can never have too many books."

"I think that's your idea of a present for yourself."

"How about a necklace?"

"Masamune, it's fine. I swear."

"Knowing you, you'll sulk about not getting a present, so I'm coming prepared."

"That was when I was six! I was a whiny brat back then!"

"And you're still whiny up to now."

"HEY!"

"Kidding. Take a joke." The woman only sighed irritably and looked out of the window in a huffily manner. A few minutes passed before Takano broke the silence again.

"You want manga, don't you?"

"Yeah."

"Knew it. I'll buy something you might like." He chuckled softly as he continued to drive.

It wasn't long before they reached Marukawa, and the raven slowed down at the red traffic light. "Alright, we're here, so where should I go?" Takano asked. Misako pointed down the road.

"Over there, then turn right at the second intersection."

"Got it." He spoke before driving off once the light turned green.

* * *

"Ahh, home sweet home." Misako sighed in comfort as she threw her bag off to the side and made a beeline to her bedroom and jumped onto it. Takano followed her and sighed as he turned on the light as he leant against the doorframe. "I'm gonna make us a small dinner since you haven't eaten yet." Misako simply nodded in response and buried her face into the pillow. Takano moved off into the kitchen and went to rummage through the fridge.

 _'Knew it, there's not much. At least I can make some omelette though…'_  He thought as he grabbed a few eggs and vegetables for a small salad. Clearing out the bench space, he found a small envelope situated on the edge of the bench. 'It's pretty thick…and heavy too.' Takano thought as he picked up the envelope.

"Hey Misako, did you gather up your mail already?" Takano asked as he waited for a response.

"Not yet!" Misako called from her room. Takano knotted his eyebrows in confusion and flipped the envelope over to read who the sender was.

He furrowed his eyebrows slightly, remembering the name from somewhere. Takano moved to open up the letter, which he found was already opened. 'I know it's not my business, but…' Opening up the envelope, the raven noticed a small amount of cash as well as a letter inside. Takano placed the money aside and scanned his eyes over the letter. In a flash, Takano appeared in Misako's room, who had seemed to had finished changing as she was in a hoodie and knee-length shorts. Takano watched as the woman's expression changed to one of a panicked one as he held up the letter.

"…M-Masamune…l-look—"

"You know what, just shut the fuck up." Misako flinched at Takano's words, as she stayed silent in front of him.

"Misako…why? Why would you still-…" Takano held back his urge to yell at the other as he turned away from her.

"L-Look…just let me explain—"

"Don't fucking use that line on me."

"I mean it! Just listen!"

"You said you weren't being supported anymore!"

"I know what I did!"

"You better! You fucking lied to me! You're just like all of them! Fucking used me as nothing more but to gain more money!"

"You're wrong! This was for your sak—"

"Don't say that! Don't **_ever_** say that to my face!" Takano interrupted in a rage, Misako holding her arms as she shook in her spot.

"I swear! I did this because I didn't want to burden you!" She yelled back, her voice trembling.

"Burden me? Ha! Seems like you've already did." Takano finished as he walked out of the bedroom.

"Masamune!" Misako rushed towards Takano and wrapped her arms around the other. "Please! Listen…" Takano inhaled sharply as he tried to shove her off, but to no avail.

"Get off me."

"…please…I can explain everything if you'd only let me…" Takano gritted his teeth and sighed irritably as he ran a hand through his hair.

"Then please, do enlighten me." The sarcasm was practically dripping from his statement.

"C-Can…can we go to the lounge, please?" Misako loosened her embrace and stepped away from the male. Takano sighed as he headed over to the lounge. Falling back onto the couch, Takano threw the letter onto the coffee table in front of him as he watched as the woman sat across from him.

"Now tell me." Takano watched as Misako's hands balled into fists in her lap, her head hanging low. Takano stared hard at her as her shoulders shook ever so slightly.

"Misako, tell me."

"…I lied. The whole story I told you before…I-I made it up." Takano's eyes widened. "The pressuring, the disappearance, even us being cousins…" Takano looked at her in disbelief.

"We're…not cousins?" Misako slowly nodded. Takano grit his teeth and stood abruptly from his seat, the woman immediately standing up as well.

"P-Please Masamune! Listen!"

"Shut up! I've had enough of your shit!" Takano began to move out of the lounge but Misako had held him back by his arm.

"Let go—!" Takano found himself pulled back into an embrace, arms tightly wrapped around his neck.

"Misako…"

_~ flashback end ~_

* * *

**Onodera's POV**

"...it was Takano-san…wasn't it?"

"…" I made no answer to An-chan's question.

"W-…What will you do now?" An spoke in a small voice, her hands moving up to cup my face gently, stroking my tear-stained cheeks.

"What I decided just before." I closed my eyes, pushing the memory of a few hours ago to the far back of my head. "I'll just marry you."

"You can't just do that Ricchan, I mean, now that he's engaged to someone, shouldn't you-"

"I just want to get away from him. I'll move back to Onodera Publishing as soon as possible, move back into the mansion, change contacts, everything."

"Ricchan, that's just taking it too far." An-chan retorted quietly. I drew my lips to a thin line. It's true that I took it a bit too far, but I really don't want to see him. This time for good. I can't believe that bastard.

I knew I had the choice of leaving so easily before all of this, but my feelings for him still lingered in my heart and mind. I couldn't deny it, but now…

I sighed heavily, trying to gather my thoughts together as I moved to sit down at the edge of the bed, An-chan moving to sit down beside me. Well, there's nothing else to do but change jobs. I'll have to ask to transfer through the higher-ups, including Takano-san. I sighed once more. This isn't going to be easy.

"I find it hard to believe that Mr. Next-Door Neighbour would do something like this…" She spoke softly, as if in disbelief. I laughed emotionlessly.

"Didn't you say you would never forgive him if he hurt me?" An-chan didn't say anything in return. "I bet you were hoping he never would, now what will you do?" I pressed on. An-chan only sighed softly and wrapped her arms around me.

"I want you to be happy, Ricchan, you're someone I care for the most, and I wish nothing but your happiness." I wrapped an arm around her shoulders, pulling her close to press a kiss to her forehead. She really was like the sister I never had. I smiled softly. "Thank you." I whispered almost inaudibly. We stayed like that for a while before moving under the blankets. She slowly began to fall asleep while I continued to stare blankly at the ceiling. My head was throbbing after the tears had subsided, so it took me a while to fall asleep. Though, with all the memories running through my head over and over again, I knew I couldn't bring myself to hold back the emotions. It wasn't long until moments after An-chan had woken up from another one of my many countless sobbing fits and moved closer to hold me gently.

"Ricchan, it's already 2 in the morning…are you sure you don't want to take a bath to calm down?" She murmured as she ran her fingers through my hair. "I know from last time that it took you two days before you could finally have a proper night's sleep." She was right on that. After my so-called misunderstanding from high school that it left me in such shock and despair that I couldn't function for two whole days. But I'm not a kid anymore, I should handle my emotions better than this.

"I'm fine An-chan, go and sleep now." I sighed shakily. "I'll get to sleep soon, after all, I've got work tomorrow." That's right, I need to treat this like it's nothing, show him that nothing has affected me, then I can leave and we can quietly go our own ways. "I'm going to write up a resignation letter soon, though I'll notify Isaka-san that I'll be leaving soon." I could feel An-chan nod before moving away slightly to gaze at my face. I was sure that I looked like a complete mess, and it could easily be seen with the moonlight seeping through the large window that was facing out towards the mansion's garden. She wiped my tears away and smiled a bit. I smiled back at her.

"Thank you, An-chan. I really am grateful to you." Her smile only widened a bit as sleep began to overtake her. Surprisingly, it began to overtake me as well, and I fell into a deep sleep.

* * *

_~ a few hours later ~_

It wasn't until early afternoon that I had woken up. I had a massive freak out and rushed to clean and dress up and ran out only to bump into An-chan. She told me she had phoned my work and told them that I would be coming in later. I thanked her once more before packing all of my things and ran out the door, ignoring Mother's protest of me staying to eat some lunch.

Bursting into the gaudy brightly pink editorial department, I watched as everyone's eyes laid on me, before looking away as I had caught Takano-san's gaze. Of course, he's waiting on how my dissolving of the engagement went. I ripped my eyes away from him as I sat down and began to work, ignoring Takano-san completely.

Break time soon came by for me and I went out to grab a can of coffee. I sighed, thinking of all the packing away I would have to do for my apartment.

"Oi." ' _UWAH!'_

"T-Takano-san!" I turned around to meet his gaze, before looking away almost immediately, ignoring the familiar burn behind my eyes.

"I want to ask you something." It's about the engagement. God, what am I supposed to say?

"Y-yeah? What is it?" I questioned, keeping my eyes away, moving to pick up the canned coffee from the vending machine.

_Why are my lips trembling?_

"I would like know why your fiancée—or even, ex-fiancée now—has phoned me to tell that you would be arriving late to work." I inwardly breathed a sigh of relief. But I wasn't out of the woods just quite yet.

"Why was she with you?" He questioned. I kept my eyes to the floor.

_Why are my hands shaking?_

"S-She just wanted to stay at our place. Her parents were staying too anyway." It wasn't a whole lie, but judging the tense silence, I knew that Takano-san didn't buy it one bit.

"After you broke your engagement with her? Sounds too good to be true." I froze.

"Y-Yes…it is."

_Please don't look at me like that._

"Uh-huh, that's nice. Now, would you kindly like to tell me the tru—" Luckily, the elevator door sounded at our floor before Takano-san could finish his question. I quickly rushed out and made my way into Emerald, taking a seat in my chair, feeling Takano-san's hard gaze on my back as he walked by me.

"Hey, you okay?" I turned my head as Takashi-san had asked that question.

"Yeah, why?" Takano-san asked nonchalantly. Takashi-san frowned at him as he sat down in his seat. She rubbed his arm gently, as if she knew exactly what Takano-san was thinking and feeling at this moment. Takano sighed and laid his hand on hers, returning to work quietly. I turned my head away, pushing all personal thoughts to the far back of my mind. I need to concentrate on my work. I began to furiously type away at my laptop, determined to finish everything as soon as possible.

I don't need this shit coming in and ruining my life.

I don't need that bastard.

Not anymore.


	14. Panic

Once finishing their work for the night, Onodera had made sure to complete his tasks earlier than Takano in order to avoid seeing him anymore than he should. Takano obviously noticed this, however he made no move to stop him, seeing as he still needed to teach Misako. It already had been a long time for Misako to be in training, however things were progressing quite slowly, especially after the confrontation back at Misako's apartment.

"I'll be leaving now, good work today." Onodera announced, being the third-last person to leave. He bowed slightly.

"Ah yes, good work today." Takano lifted his head up to look at the brunette in acknowledgement. Misako glanced at the brunette too, smiling and waving slightly, saying a 'see you tomorrow!' as Onodera left.

"Do you want to continue this at my apartment?" Takano questioned the other, gesturing to the manuscript in front of them.

"Mm…could we do this tomorrow? I don't think my brain can absorb any more information." She laughed softly. Takano smiled at this.

"Alright, we'll do it tomorrow. Do you want me to escort you home?" Misako shook her head.

"I think I'll be okay." She responded with a smile.

"You sure? It's pretty late for a woman to go out on her own."

"Wow, how gentlemanly of you." Misako murmured as she patted Takano on the cheek. "But I think I'm quite strong to fend them off for myself." The male chuckled.

"That's right, you learnt a bit of self defence in high school." He remembered as he stood. Misako nodded and smirked.

"I could kick your balls anytime!" She spoke haughtily. Takano snorted.

"You care about me too much for that." Takano smiled softly at her. Misako gazed at the raven, bringing her hands up to playfully clap her them against his cheeks, occasionally pinching them gently every now and then. "It's funny, since I'm the one who's younger than you, yet I feel almost like a mother." The woman laughed a little. The male chuckled before placing his hand on hers.

"Sorry, I forgot my coat—" Onodera burst back into the department at that moment, stopping in his footsteps as he found himself staring at the two ravens, before ripping his gaze away to grab his coat.

"S-Sorry!" Onodera apologised hastily as he rushed out of the department.

"Oi, Onodera!" Takano called as he watched the brunette rush off once more.

"What's wrong with him?" Misako kept her gaze on the doorway as she dropped her hands. Takano sighed and ran a hand through his hand.

"Not sure, come on, let's go now." Takano spoke as he started to pack up.

* * *

_\- at Onodera's apartment -_

**Onodera's POV**

I walked into my apartment, throwing everything to the side before staggering into the bedroom and collapsing onto my bed. I gripped the sheets in my hands until my knuckles turned white. I kept my face in my pillow until I felt like I was suffocating myself. It was better than the unbearable pain in my chest and the stinging in my eyes.

I didn't want to, but my damned body was going against me.

I slowly let out a choked sob, gritting my teeth as tears had begun to leak out from my closed eyes and soak the fabric of the pillow.

I hate this.

I don't want to feel this way anymore.

* * *

Two weeks after, it had started to become a routine to lay in my bed numb, staring blankly ahead of me before hearing the doorbell. I bit my lip, burying my face into the pillow, hoping that it would finally go away. For days on end Takano-san had wanted to talk to me about something 'important' for some reason. Yet again I had returned to making sure that I wasn't alone with him during work, and to avoid being cornered by him.

But actually, a few days ago it seemed that my luck had so happened to run out when Takano-san had taken the chance to drag me into a conference room at one point, swiftly beginning to interrogate me, but I thanked my lucky stars when Isaka-san had called me over for a meeting with him privately about my resignation. It was a quick meeting, since it only was needed so that the higher-ups would acknowledge the fact that I'm leaving Marukawa. After our meeting, once I had finished work I went to my apartment complex to complete my lease agreement and I was permitted to a few days to move out.

Hearing the buzz of my phone, I pushed it off my bed, knowing who the caller was. I curled up into the mattress, waiting for who knows how long until the noises had finally subsided. Soon after I moved from my bed to grab my phone. Opening it, I was greeted with a huge number of missed calls. ' _I don't see why he's so desperate to see me, what? Does he want to make it clear to me that it's over?'_ I was shaken out of my thoughts when I had suddenly received a message.  _'It's An-chan.'_ Opening the message, I began to read it.

_Hi Ricchan, your mother wants to see you tomorrow morning if that's okay. She said that she would take care of contacting your workplace to say that you'll come in later, but she would like to start planning the wedding so she started off with invitations. She would like to show you the draft._

That was quick. I guess…Mother really was reluctant about me dissolving my engagement with An-chan. Giving a quick reply, I wrote,

_Sure, I'll meet you guys around 8._

Next morning I had gotten up early to head over to the mansion again. Even though I was only there to check out the invitation draft my mother forced me to stay to eat breakfast. I seriously thought my stomach was gonna swell up to the size of a balloon. After that I handed my parents the key to my apartment, asking them if I could move my things over here. It was a bit of a large task, but I wanted to get out of there as soon as possible. My parents didn't question why but complied anyway. I thanked them before leaving the mansion. By nightfall, I wouldn't be living there anymore.

* * *

_\- evening -_

**Narrator's POV**

"Hey, Takano." Everyone in the Emerald department lifted up their heads to see Isaka standing in the doorway, a hand beckoning the raven over. "Come with me for a minute." Takano nodded and stood, Onodera watching Isaka with a slightly worried expression. The raven strode over to Isaka and followed him out. It wasn't until they had ended up in the hallway, way away from the department that Isaka spoke, "Just wanted to give you a heads up about Nanahikari's transferring. He's going back to Onodera Publishing, for good."

Takano's eyes widened, by he immediately regained his composure as he responded with, "Ahh, is that so?" Isaka nodded.

"He's taking over, like how I already have." Isaka smiled. "It'll be hard on him, for sure." Little did Isaka know that it would also be hard on someone else.

"When has he decided this?" The raven questioned, keeping his simmering anger in check.

"A few days ago, actually. His parents had mentioned about it to my parents informally, but we had a meeting to discuss his resignation." Takano drew his lips to a thin line. He was too late.

But he was so sure that Ritsu he was going to dissolve the engagement.

Or did Ritsu have other plans in mind?

"Shouldn't I have been there for the meeting as well to overlook everything?" Isaka shook his head.

"There was no need to. Think about it, when Onodera leaves, Takashi-san would be taking his place, so it wouldn't make too much of a difference if Onodera left." The raven cursed inwardly, resisting the urge to punch a nearby wall.

"I wanted to let you know however, since it's your department. But also, if you have any qualms about his transferring?" Isaka pressed. A silence was left between them for a few moments before Takano clenched his jaw and turned on his heel.

"Ultimately, it's Onodera's choice, isn't it not? You won't need to have my answer in the end." Isaka nodded in agreement.

"Sorry about the disturbance, I just needed to make sure you acknowledged it. I'll see you around Takano." Isaka announced before taking his departure. Takano stayed standing there for a long time, his nails digging into his palms as he fumed.

He wasn't mad at Onodera.

Not at all.

He was only angered at himself because of how he had still lost the brunette despite the strong hold he had on him.

He wasn't going to give up.

Not just yet.

"I need to talk to him." The raven murmured softly before entering into the department, frowning at the brunette as he passed by. Onodera must've noticed this, because he immediately flinched when he met Takano's gaze. Takano felt a slight pain in his chest before brushed it off as he arrived at his desk. Once again Misako noticed Takano's change of attitude and gave him a look of concern. The male's amber eyes flickered over to the woman beside him, sensing the other's worry. Keeping quiet, Takano returned to work quietly, having only one question in his mind.

' _I told you that I would_ _ **never**_ _forgive you if you ran off on your own again…_

… _so why do you intend on leaving me?'_

* * *

**Onodera's POV**

I sighed in relief when the final hours of work soon came around, but unfortunately Takano-san had started to close in on me and I began to grow uncomfortable. Once I finally finished everything I stood up and quickly gathered my things to leave but Takano-san had dragged me into a conference room, slamming me against the door.

"O-Ow! T-Takano-san what the—"

"You're  _transferring_?" I felt my heart skip a beat, avoiding Takano's heated stare. I could feel his eyes drilling into my head.

"Answer me, Onodera." I whipped my head around in his direction, having newfound irritation at his demand.

"Why do I have to tell you?! Isaka-san told you already so I find you hounding me just to ask this absolutely ridiculo—"

"Fine then," Takano-san spat, vehemence laced in his voice. I glared at him. To be frank, I've never had Takano angry at me like this. Usually his anger at me was fuelled through stress and worry of other things that he ended up lashing out at me. But this, he was angry right  _at_ me, as if I had betrayed him.

"Let me put it this way, why are you leaving me  _again_?" I felt my whole body become rigid at that question, before regaining my composure.

_He doesn't love me._

_He's only lying to me._

_He's just playing with me._

"L-Like you have any room to talk!" I retorted angrily, narrowing my eyes at him.

"Hah?" He looked at me in confusion. "What the hell are you going on about?"

_He's faking it._

_Don't fall for it._

"Don't lie!" I snapped at him. "I saw you! With Takashi-san!"

"Where?" Takano-san looked almost dumbfounded. This only caused my anger to flare up even more.

"How dare you even try to play dumb with me! Why can't you just leave me alone?!"

"Rits—"

"Just stop playing with me!" I sobbed, cupping my mouth once tears came spilling out of my eyes. I squeezed my eyes shut. Dammit! Stop crying! He doesn't deserve to see you like this!

"…Onodera…" I felt his hand move to caress my cheek, but I slapped it away, shoving him away to run out the door.

_I don't want to be here anymore._

_I can't breathe._

_My head hurts._

_My chest hurts._

"Oi! Onodera!" I ignored his calling as I ran towards the elevator.

" _Ritsu_!" Quickly pressing the close button, my shoulders relaxing when the doors finally closed. Sliding down against the door, I bit my lip and let out a choked sob as I cupped my mouth. I'm finally leaving him, after all the things he's done to me, after being his little plaything, I'm finally out of his life.

So…why?

Why did it feel…so wrong?

Inside of me, I felt as if…there was this little part of me…hoping…that he wasn't playing with me, that he was actually serious with me…

_Get a hold of yourself, Ritsu._

_You know_ _**fully well** _ _that he was playing with you then and now._

_You are_ _**not** _ _going to fall in love with that man again._

_He may have spouted pitiful excuses to make up for those misunderstandings, but you know they are nothing but_ _**lies** _ _._

_He's been in love with you for ten whole years?_

_**Bullshit** _ _._

"…" I wiped my eyes and sniffled slightly, standing up as the elevator doors opened. Stepping out, I walked out of Marukawa and called up a taxi. From here on, finally starts my new life. Might as well start preparing for the wedding.

* * *

**Narrator's POV**

' _What…is this?'_

' _It can't be…'_

' _Onodera told me that he…'_

' _He…'_

"Masamune! Where the heck are you?" A female voice called out, walking past the deserted meeting room, where the raven was at.

"… _Ritsu_ …" Takano felt his throat constrict as he placed a shaky hand to his mouth.

"Ritsu…Ritsu…" Bursting out of the meeting room, Takano met Misako walking up to the door.

"There you are, look I've got a ques- Masamune?" Misako watched as Takano sped down the hallway, arriving the elevator to press the button repeatedly. Cursing in anger, the male hurried through the emergency door and rushed down the stairs, practically jumping each level.

"Hey! Masamune!" Misako called after the raven, following after him.

Takano burst out onto the ground floor and found the brunette getting into a taxi.  _'No, not again.'_ He gritted his teeth as he ran out of the building.

But he was too late.

The vehicle had already driven off.

Takano flew into a panic.

Everything turned into a blur.

He was sure his sudden panic caused some surprise and shock in the department, but he didn't care.

' _Get to the apartment, get to the apartment.'_

He found himself in the underground carpark, having already started his car up.

The raven sped off.

' _Ritsu…Ritsu…'_

Takano gripped his hair in anxiety as he sped through the cars before finally meeting the street to turn into to reach the apartment complex.

' _Please be there.'_

He parked swiftly, heading up the elevator and burst onto their floor.

' _Don't disappear from my life again.'_

But he did.

The door was unlocked.

The apartment was completely empty.

Takano clenched his fists, crumpling up the paper he had in his hand.

The paper that caused his insecurities, panic, and fear flood his senses once more.

"…"

Takano fell against the wall of the apartment, no longer feeling the pumping of adrenaline, but instead having that replaced with familiar, numbing pain he knew all too well. Staring blankly at the paper crumpled up in his palm, the raven moved to straighten it and read the print, hoping,  _begging_ , that he had read it wrong.

But it remained unchanged.

He dreaded for the day, when he would end up reading exactly what it said on the paper.

_You are invited to come and witness the special day of Onodera Ritsu's and Kohinata An's wedding._


End file.
